This is a journal I never really thought I'd have to write, but recent observations have prompted it.

I'm sure a lot of you know me for my ability to be an ass. I'm grumpy and sour and mean to everyone for no discernible reason. But there's a method to my madness, and it's a lot simpler than you might think: it's because I think it's funny.

The reason I became such a grouch online was because I thought we needed one. This fandom is obsessed with being cute, cuddly, and friendly. There's nothing inherently wrong with that; you might be shocked to know I enjoy cuddles and being nice as much as the next guy. But when everyone is happy and nice, then conversations are like watching paint dry. It's lifeless and boring. Adding a difference of popular opinion stimulates conversation.

I became the grouch just because it comes naturally to me. I've always had a dry sense of humor and have been slightly egocentric, so it worked nicely. Plus, being someone so radically "different" to people who are all about portraying themselves as nice makes me stick out like a sore thumb, which is something I'll openly say I enjoy. But at the end of the day I like being a grump just because it makes me smile, and I know it makes a lot of my friends smile too- either from the jokes I make, or more often, the ones made at my expense.

Though there's the issue I've encountered with playing this character: some people don't get it. There seem to be two schools of reaction, the first being the sensitive and the second being the inflammatory. The first take what I have to say at face value, and even if they know I'm joking, become uncomfortable and offended. The second I have to believe think I'm completely serious, and call me out for assuming me an ass with no comedic intent.

I understand either reaction; it's one that stems from differences in humor, or at least not knowing me as a joker. I can't really gauge someone's sense of humor until I've tested it like that. Granted, I'm meaner to some people than others, depending on my mood. I've ruined a potential friendship or two with people over a botched choice to make fun instead of make nice. Now, that's not to say I'm easy to get along with; I'm actually very quick to annoy and if I can't poke fun at you then we're going to have very little to talk about. But maintaining the facade of a grouch has just taken its toll in some places and I wanted to let everyone know, formally and totally out of character:

I'm kidding.
Mammals are alright.
Paws are OK.
Hugs are appreciated, and at times, quite necessary.

This has been one of the best days I've ever had in a long while, so I wanted to clarify this point for those who don't understand. I know I'm intimidating and I really can't help that. I apologize in advance to anyone whose feelings I hurt, because I know I eventually will. But please believe me when I say that's my way of telling you I like you. :3