I find myself going slowly...up the ladder of my career..so many people from my past changing around me. My ex girl friend finding a guy that is alot like me...my ex boyfriend insulting me because of my girlfriend having a misscarage when he can't even behave enough not to assault other of his ex's. I feel so bitter towards him. Yet I still miss him and wish him well...my girlfriend is hurting without me,yet I cannot even see my worth anymore...I mean...the pain,the childish fears I have, will they ever leave? Do I really want them to? I regret Alot of my life...but is it even a life anymore.I mean my girl friends husband does his best to keep us all together the best he can but lately my doubts are coming to mind and becoming more serious than the self destructive thoughts...just needed to vent..I'm deppressed and get some suppressed pain off my chest. Btw shadow/shikikat except for insulting me and getting ur laughs why talk to me? I mean honestly you got your mate I dont think between u having alot of sex you would honest want to keep ahold of a person you obviously don't care for or even pay attention to what they say so why? I mean really why?