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Just a journal about life
13 years ago
General
So, ok, let's get one thing straight. Some people won't take politely to this from what I understand, but alright...
You know, I just think my whole life, I've taken things on the chin. Like, I've been a light hearted again about everything. Not really sure of myself now though, but I think there is some very serious people out there.
I've not been the most... cooperative person. It's simply, you know, when you think someone is seemingly so good, you go right in there? I'm 20 now, but that kinda naivety followed me I think for many years now. It's led into my 20s and well, it's like one of those times in your life when you wonder if you'd ever be the same again.
You know, some people rowl and stuff, go mad, but then, some people I think just go to extremes. I mean, I don't know why, I think I'm a developed person who has dealt with the earth for 20 years and survived, it just makes me look like a freak half the time though. They seriously gossip alot, you know?
I dunno what is wrong to be honest with these people. I get confused as hell about them. Since I was young I was called this robot and stuff, very madly aggressive, but then I met this really weird ass brother who thinks it's polite to wake you up at 11am, threaten and beat you up if you didn't do something wrong, and well, hold your mouth from time to time and well, you get all this pent up aggression because that state of mind becomes traumatic when you become his punching bag and not allowed to tell your mother or anyone of anything or he'll murder you or something.
So I'm a pretty precarious guy. Life has made me this way. Y'know, it's not funny sitting on the end of a seat whilst your balls are about to hit rubber, y'know? Going kinda fast there. Ok, please stop now?
So I dunno if I'm writing this journal 'saaaaane' but let's get to the point. Accusative people. I dunno about them, I just think, y'know, I was like this kid once who was all calm and stuff at 15. I had traumatic stress disorder and blocked a few people online, but I was that kid, y'know, who was normal and calm? Like a very friendly guy?
Then something happened, I met this guy. Something made me think he was a very cool guy. I was very open with him and stuff, but looking back I don't think he was 'all there' so to speak. Kinda messed up the head guy?
So you leave him and think 'Woo sensitive', over some religious talk, you was really getting on, and then he kinda just snaps at you and leaves instantly. So you think, ok? Let's be reasonable?
I go up to him on Deviantart and start talking.
'GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I CALL THE MODERATORS NOW, ANYMORE AND I'LL CALL THE POLICE.'
Right. So I was extremely soft there. Gentle as a feather. Oooook...
So it goes on some more, we get more acquainted later on. This lad, his name is Jack. He's not so normal. Y'know, he's the kid people stare at and think is kinda strange looking but he's a really great guy.
So you try talking to him and he's really sad and depressed sometimes, suicidal, alot more, so you try to be nice, he flips out at you sometimes and you sit there wondering all deranged 'Ok?'
So I sit there and get snapped at but I was like 'Ok then', moved on, but I started to realize his issues of lacking friends, alot more, I tried helping him. I think this was my mistake.
So you send him, really nicely laid paragraphs of how to help himself. Y'know, you're just a friend and all? So, he never replies and yet this guy is suicidal, cooperative person. Alright?
And then later on you get him snapping at you again about leaving him. Right, you want to know why I left... well... I don't want to hurt your feelings but I thought you had a problem when you snapped at me.
So he snaps again, and again, and again, all sorts.
Then I met another friend on the internet, some other people in life, They seem like really nice people, but again, you get that weird distressing emotions about them. Ok? So why are you so distressed I wonder? I sit here thinking, right, this guy has a problem, well I did for a moment.
I think I sat down too long with these people anyway. I just think, sometimes, y'know, you need to go and see a doctor or something, I think? If you've got this real sensitive porcupine like personality anyway. Atleast, y'know, when you can't even say goodbye right. You have to leave in ONE BIG HURRY.
Now I found out about this term called a Narcissist. I reckon some people oughtta look at this? Maybe help themselves a bit? You need to be 18 to be diagnosed, but y'know, if you've got these issues with suicide and stuff, you really have to sort it alright? Not leave a 19 year old or a 16 year old to fix all your problems? I mean, I'm a friend, but I seriously think some people on the internet need alot of help...
Please? I just think this is really needed on the internet... I think, alot of you or some of you should get checked in about your tempers and emotions... etc... because, it does admittedly scare people.
Ok, there. Said. Just a little frightened tonight. Not sure of myself anymore. Just a few people on this website, maybe life themselves could use alot of psychotherapy lessons.. I'm not maybe all here...
You know, I just think my whole life, I've taken things on the chin. Like, I've been a light hearted again about everything. Not really sure of myself now though, but I think there is some very serious people out there.
I've not been the most... cooperative person. It's simply, you know, when you think someone is seemingly so good, you go right in there? I'm 20 now, but that kinda naivety followed me I think for many years now. It's led into my 20s and well, it's like one of those times in your life when you wonder if you'd ever be the same again.
You know, some people rowl and stuff, go mad, but then, some people I think just go to extremes. I mean, I don't know why, I think I'm a developed person who has dealt with the earth for 20 years and survived, it just makes me look like a freak half the time though. They seriously gossip alot, you know?
I dunno what is wrong to be honest with these people. I get confused as hell about them. Since I was young I was called this robot and stuff, very madly aggressive, but then I met this really weird ass brother who thinks it's polite to wake you up at 11am, threaten and beat you up if you didn't do something wrong, and well, hold your mouth from time to time and well, you get all this pent up aggression because that state of mind becomes traumatic when you become his punching bag and not allowed to tell your mother or anyone of anything or he'll murder you or something.
So I'm a pretty precarious guy. Life has made me this way. Y'know, it's not funny sitting on the end of a seat whilst your balls are about to hit rubber, y'know? Going kinda fast there. Ok, please stop now?
So I dunno if I'm writing this journal 'saaaaane' but let's get to the point. Accusative people. I dunno about them, I just think, y'know, I was like this kid once who was all calm and stuff at 15. I had traumatic stress disorder and blocked a few people online, but I was that kid, y'know, who was normal and calm? Like a very friendly guy?
Then something happened, I met this guy. Something made me think he was a very cool guy. I was very open with him and stuff, but looking back I don't think he was 'all there' so to speak. Kinda messed up the head guy?
So you leave him and think 'Woo sensitive', over some religious talk, you was really getting on, and then he kinda just snaps at you and leaves instantly. So you think, ok? Let's be reasonable?
I go up to him on Deviantart and start talking.
'GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I CALL THE MODERATORS NOW, ANYMORE AND I'LL CALL THE POLICE.'
Right. So I was extremely soft there. Gentle as a feather. Oooook...
So it goes on some more, we get more acquainted later on. This lad, his name is Jack. He's not so normal. Y'know, he's the kid people stare at and think is kinda strange looking but he's a really great guy.
So you try talking to him and he's really sad and depressed sometimes, suicidal, alot more, so you try to be nice, he flips out at you sometimes and you sit there wondering all deranged 'Ok?'
So I sit there and get snapped at but I was like 'Ok then', moved on, but I started to realize his issues of lacking friends, alot more, I tried helping him. I think this was my mistake.
So you send him, really nicely laid paragraphs of how to help himself. Y'know, you're just a friend and all? So, he never replies and yet this guy is suicidal, cooperative person. Alright?
And then later on you get him snapping at you again about leaving him. Right, you want to know why I left... well... I don't want to hurt your feelings but I thought you had a problem when you snapped at me.
So he snaps again, and again, and again, all sorts.
Then I met another friend on the internet, some other people in life, They seem like really nice people, but again, you get that weird distressing emotions about them. Ok? So why are you so distressed I wonder? I sit here thinking, right, this guy has a problem, well I did for a moment.
I think I sat down too long with these people anyway. I just think, sometimes, y'know, you need to go and see a doctor or something, I think? If you've got this real sensitive porcupine like personality anyway. Atleast, y'know, when you can't even say goodbye right. You have to leave in ONE BIG HURRY.
Now I found out about this term called a Narcissist. I reckon some people oughtta look at this? Maybe help themselves a bit? You need to be 18 to be diagnosed, but y'know, if you've got these issues with suicide and stuff, you really have to sort it alright? Not leave a 19 year old or a 16 year old to fix all your problems? I mean, I'm a friend, but I seriously think some people on the internet need alot of help...
Please? I just think this is really needed on the internet... I think, alot of you or some of you should get checked in about your tempers and emotions... etc... because, it does admittedly scare people.
Ok, there. Said. Just a little frightened tonight. Not sure of myself anymore. Just a few people on this website, maybe life themselves could use alot of psychotherapy lessons.. I'm not maybe all here...
