FA+
Shop
2012: Failure Report
13 years ago
Your top story tonight:
So around this time last year I did a jaunty, hilarious "2011 Meme". Do you remember 2011? Aw. Anyway, one of the questions in said meme was:
What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
To which I replied:
My own flat somewhere and a job where I don't try and kill people with my mind.
It fills me with an inexhaustible amount of misery to tell you that I did not get my own flat somewhere and that my job still makes me want to stab. With our handy new lines of kitchen knives! Now 80% off.
Over the course of the year I've had under 10 interviews for new jobs, each of them met with a resolute declination, alongside literally dozens if not over 100 applications for jobs where I've heard nothing back. Or at best, a "thanks for applying". As much as I want to be a video editor, I sense that the creative path is closing all the time, but if I concede defeat and take up a full-time job at the supermarket I will have killed myself by the time I'm 30. But I can't afford to leave the part-time misery until I have something more rounded. I think the New Year will see a change from a part-time job I hate to a full-time job I hate. Sorry, in short, work opportunities in 2012 were shite, and a result of no change there has seen no change in my current accommodation when I am in my mid-twenties and living with parents, which is just upsetting. And I know there are plenty of others, perhaps yourself included, that are in a similar position, but this is not how I saw my life going when I stood proudly on the stage at University walking away with my degree. When my dad was 25, he'd just moved in to his second house. What makes it even worse is that I see a lot of my friends moving ahead of me. Starting families, getting their houses, getting their dream jobs. I see people on TV and hear people on the radio that I went to University with and I wonder at what point did we stop being classmates and become different tiers of society.
Those two reasons have been the main two reasons I have spent 2012 miserable. I have, however, found solace in one little piece of joy which is Flynn, now 5 months into a relationship with wolfie and feeling pretty good about the 5 months that come next, and hopefully everything that follows it. And of course, I found a great deal of joy in my travels. Though limited this year, I was able to go back to Sweden and spent almost a fortnight lounging around in the farms in Frillesås with Wolfspawn et al, and spending a few days in Copenhagen with Pinky was absolutely delightful and I would love to go back some day. (In the next couple of months I have trips to Milan and Stockholm in the diary so will certainly be enjoying those). I also had a very eventful year on the convention and furry event front - the usual trip to ConFuzzled was delightful, staffing ScotiaCon was good fun, even though I won't be there next year, alas, I saw Germany for the first time at the Cologne FurDance, helped staff both Frantic Eufurias in Bristol and went to both London fur parties, all of which were superb and marvellous events. 2013 will prove to be a bit quieter, with only a trip to Nordic Fuzz Con confirmed at the moment - ConFuzzled is still a maybe, depending on funds.
So all in all, was 2012 a success? Well... no. I am thankful for my health, my boyfriend, my family, friends and what teeny money I do have. But I'm in a rut. And you know what ruts are like. And every time I look at my staff badge that says "Joined the team in 2009", it bothers me that this short-term job is running my life, and I want out. Claws crossed that 2013 is the year it all changes. And it shall start with a party with some of my local furry friends and it shall be awesome. (Hence why you get this journal today and not tomorrow when I shall be at work then at a party).
Oh, and also, I want to try and make FA more active in 2013. 2012 saw about 1 upload and one journal a month, which isn't great, but composing has naturally slowed. There is a concept album coming out soon though. But hopefully I can bring something a bit more as I go into my fifth year on FA and my 8th in the fandom. See you all next year. x
Love,
Equium auf der Another Shitty Year
What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
To which I replied:
My own flat somewhere and a job where I don't try and kill people with my mind.
It fills me with an inexhaustible amount of misery to tell you that I did not get my own flat somewhere and that my job still makes me want to stab. With our handy new lines of kitchen knives! Now 80% off.
Over the course of the year I've had under 10 interviews for new jobs, each of them met with a resolute declination, alongside literally dozens if not over 100 applications for jobs where I've heard nothing back. Or at best, a "thanks for applying". As much as I want to be a video editor, I sense that the creative path is closing all the time, but if I concede defeat and take up a full-time job at the supermarket I will have killed myself by the time I'm 30. But I can't afford to leave the part-time misery until I have something more rounded. I think the New Year will see a change from a part-time job I hate to a full-time job I hate. Sorry, in short, work opportunities in 2012 were shite, and a result of no change there has seen no change in my current accommodation when I am in my mid-twenties and living with parents, which is just upsetting. And I know there are plenty of others, perhaps yourself included, that are in a similar position, but this is not how I saw my life going when I stood proudly on the stage at University walking away with my degree. When my dad was 25, he'd just moved in to his second house. What makes it even worse is that I see a lot of my friends moving ahead of me. Starting families, getting their houses, getting their dream jobs. I see people on TV and hear people on the radio that I went to University with and I wonder at what point did we stop being classmates and become different tiers of society.
Those two reasons have been the main two reasons I have spent 2012 miserable. I have, however, found solace in one little piece of joy which is Flynn, now 5 months into a relationship with wolfie and feeling pretty good about the 5 months that come next, and hopefully everything that follows it. And of course, I found a great deal of joy in my travels. Though limited this year, I was able to go back to Sweden and spent almost a fortnight lounging around in the farms in Frillesås with Wolfspawn et al, and spending a few days in Copenhagen with Pinky was absolutely delightful and I would love to go back some day. (In the next couple of months I have trips to Milan and Stockholm in the diary so will certainly be enjoying those). I also had a very eventful year on the convention and furry event front - the usual trip to ConFuzzled was delightful, staffing ScotiaCon was good fun, even though I won't be there next year, alas, I saw Germany for the first time at the Cologne FurDance, helped staff both Frantic Eufurias in Bristol and went to both London fur parties, all of which were superb and marvellous events. 2013 will prove to be a bit quieter, with only a trip to Nordic Fuzz Con confirmed at the moment - ConFuzzled is still a maybe, depending on funds.
So all in all, was 2012 a success? Well... no. I am thankful for my health, my boyfriend, my family, friends and what teeny money I do have. But I'm in a rut. And you know what ruts are like. And every time I look at my staff badge that says "Joined the team in 2009", it bothers me that this short-term job is running my life, and I want out. Claws crossed that 2013 is the year it all changes. And it shall start with a party with some of my local furry friends and it shall be awesome. (Hence why you get this journal today and not tomorrow when I shall be at work then at a party).
Oh, and also, I want to try and make FA more active in 2013. 2012 saw about 1 upload and one journal a month, which isn't great, but composing has naturally slowed. There is a concept album coming out soon though. But hopefully I can bring something a bit more as I go into my fifth year on FA and my 8th in the fandom. See you all next year. x
Love,
Equium auf der Another Shitty Year
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4161175/
it's to the point when someone wishes me a good day or something like it I GROAN because that's an open invitation to the universe to come kick me in the ass a few times, just for jollies.
*shrugs* but that is the nature or nurture argument. am I sad because no one will hang with me, or will no one hang with me because I r teh sads?
I have to say I'm very glad that I met you at the start of the year, you're a great friend, and it'll be good to see you at the P-A-R-T-Y!
You are in a very similar position, I've heard much of your horrors in your job, but you too always seem to have a smile on your face. ^^ Been good seeing you this year, you've been a grand friend too, and tomorrow night we shall celebrate a hopefully lovely 2013!
You are a wonderful musician... why not try a go in that direction while continuing sending out the resumes?
*hugs...
V.
2. By all means - though the one thing I keep hearing in interviews is that cop-out "lack of experience" line. Which everyone hates.
3. I heard nothing of this! D:
4. I hunger for more.
And I try not to compare myself to you because while you were working in Sainsbury's, you did kinda have a lot of experience and knowledge under your belt - far more than I do. But if I turn round one day and say "Benny, it's 2015 and I'm still in that horrible shop" you have my permission to run me over with a Hackney carriage.
x