For those who read my post the other day, thanks for spending the time to read it. I was feeling so angry it was hard for me to keep calm and control my emotions.

The anger is still there, but the main thing I am feeling inside at the moment is numb. I woke up around 9am but couldn't be asked to get out of bed because I could hear my dad downstairs. I eventually woke up at 11 because I heard him leave the house for a bit. Some time alone to do my chores without the distraction of him around allowed me to finish quickly and get on with what I wanted to do today.

I love my dad, but I hate it when we have disagreements about my personal life. I know he wants the best for me, but for gods sake let me live the life I want. I had a plan and you've just thrown it all up in the air.

The worst thing that is bugging me is he's acting like nothing has happened. He keeps telling me to stop being grumpy. How the hell do you expect me to feel after yesterday? I can't forget and right know, I can't forgive the way you treated me with disrespect. I was going to make cocktails for you and mum for new years but forget it. I think I'll treat myself for once. I can afford it after all!

Turning to drink is something I don't like to do but right now, it's something that is making me feel so much better. My sweetie being online on skype is helping too. I think I'm going to get padded and just try to relax, although right now it's difficult. The sooner I book my trip to see my fiance the better. Then I can start to focus. Right now, I feel like a deer in headlights, and that's where I don't want to be right now.