So I've been working on improving my writing, and one way to do that (besides writing more, of course *innocent whistle*) is to help edit the works of others. I have a friend of mine that I've known for a while who has been working on a My Little Pony story, and I've been helping him to edit it and correct minor problems.

However, I am not the most talented writer, which can make editing a bit of a challenge. I have my own problems and foibles, and while I might like certain things, those generally aren't beloved by all. So I find it hard sometimes to critique his writing when I don't know if there is a problem in the first place. I'm an intuitive writer - I try to write what sounds good without really understanding the real laws beneath it - which means that I often don't know why something is wrong when I read it.

Because I'm a dummy.

Anyway, what I want to ask is that if there is anyone out there that wants to read my friend's My Little Pony fan-fiction story, I'd appreciate it if you could tell me how the first chapter or two flows. There is a lot of exposition in it; and while I personally don't mind that, I might not be the best judge on how well it flows. I am trying to help him work through it some, but I might need a fresh set of eyes.

Bringer of War [Dark][Adventure][Human]

It's about a disgraced soldier and an AI (along with others) ending up in Equestria as ponies. I like it, but then, I like 'stranger in a strange land' scenarios. It's just behind another favorite: 'people ending up in an alternate reality where their life is very different'.

And no, there is no sex or pron in it (*cue disappointed sighs*). I do happen to read things that don't involve big cocks and bigger bellies from time to time, after all.

*crickets*

Honest.

*crickets*

Anyway, if you do happen to put up with his long story, I'd be very happy if you were to let me know (or him, I guess) what you think and what I should offer in the way of assistance.

On a side note, here is a remix of 'Raise This Barn' that has been stuck in my head for days.