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A New Years Reflection
13 years ago
General
The past year has been one of the biggest and most impactful years of my life. I've had a great friend and caring lover by my side nearly the whole time. He comforted me when I needed him most, but most importantly, he picked me up and stood me on my two feet.
He was the first person I've truly let myself trust. I had no idea who I was or where to even begin trying to figure it out. He was there as an experienced eye. He was able to give me the foothold I needed to start moving forward.
The confidence he's instilled within me, for better or for worse, is something I will always be eternally thankful for. Because of this confidence I am now able to pursue things I once thought impossible. I'm able to talk to people I was too shy to approach. He's given me a tool that's probably the single most important one someone can give.
I've met a number of people over the past year. I'm grateful I had the pleasure of running into each and every one of them. I've learned so much about so many things. Things I would have never even considered looking into. I look forward to the new year wide eyed and bushy tailed, hoping I can learn just as much.
This year has seen many milestones in my life. I graduated with my engineering degree and landed a job I thought for sure I'd love. (turned out I thought wrong!!) Considered a new career path I never thought I would be able to pursue. I've been fortunate enough to have a fantastic friend network and a wonderful mate who I can seek out for advice along the way.
I've even started keeping a journal in an attempt to keep track of the world around me. I spent so many years taking the time I’ve be graciously given for granted. No more! Life is a great gift that we can all use to hopefully impact the world around in a positive way. I've been looking into many self-help books and blogs. Much of the information I've found is quite silly and a waste of time, but there are a few gems amongst the muck. I’ve taken it upon myself to collect what knowledge proves true. I hope through keeping my journals I can help people out when they need it most. I can be there to offer an experience that most people have not.
Probably one of the hardest things I had to do this year was end the relationship I've had for many months. I found myself unable to provide the love someone of his caliber deserved. I couldn't let the situation as it was. It's simply not fair for either party. Albeit, our relationship couldn't work... I have hope we can continue a friendship that will benefit both of us. I couldn't have asked for a more caring person. He'd always do what he could for those around him often disregarding his own wellbeing. I miss him already writing this. I’ve been reflecting upon the past when I need the strength to continue.
I will forever remember you in my heart.
He was the first person I've truly let myself trust. I had no idea who I was or where to even begin trying to figure it out. He was there as an experienced eye. He was able to give me the foothold I needed to start moving forward.
The confidence he's instilled within me, for better or for worse, is something I will always be eternally thankful for. Because of this confidence I am now able to pursue things I once thought impossible. I'm able to talk to people I was too shy to approach. He's given me a tool that's probably the single most important one someone can give.
I've met a number of people over the past year. I'm grateful I had the pleasure of running into each and every one of them. I've learned so much about so many things. Things I would have never even considered looking into. I look forward to the new year wide eyed and bushy tailed, hoping I can learn just as much.
This year has seen many milestones in my life. I graduated with my engineering degree and landed a job I thought for sure I'd love. (turned out I thought wrong!!) Considered a new career path I never thought I would be able to pursue. I've been fortunate enough to have a fantastic friend network and a wonderful mate who I can seek out for advice along the way.
I've even started keeping a journal in an attempt to keep track of the world around me. I spent so many years taking the time I’ve be graciously given for granted. No more! Life is a great gift that we can all use to hopefully impact the world around in a positive way. I've been looking into many self-help books and blogs. Much of the information I've found is quite silly and a waste of time, but there are a few gems amongst the muck. I’ve taken it upon myself to collect what knowledge proves true. I hope through keeping my journals I can help people out when they need it most. I can be there to offer an experience that most people have not.
Probably one of the hardest things I had to do this year was end the relationship I've had for many months. I found myself unable to provide the love someone of his caliber deserved. I couldn't let the situation as it was. It's simply not fair for either party. Albeit, our relationship couldn't work... I have hope we can continue a friendship that will benefit both of us. I couldn't have asked for a more caring person. He'd always do what he could for those around him often disregarding his own wellbeing. I miss him already writing this. I’ve been reflecting upon the past when I need the strength to continue.
I will forever remember you in my heart.
Thank you for being there when you have been. I could never express just how much the little time I get to spend with you fellas means to me.
Some people see this as an ultimately bleak view of things, but taken on a deeper level it is a more powerful and enabling perspective to have when you realize that you are ultimately the one in control of every part of your existence, your choices, and your motives. A lot of people ascribe or invent a lot of mystical principles to ultimately make themselves feel better (e.g. religion and practices steeped in tradition rather than logic) and tell you those things are what ACTUALLY matter, but somehow fail to see the point that they are still the one DECIDING those things are the things that matter. People and philosophers have been struggling with these kind of questions since ancient times, and though something of a rather zen answer, it seems to be the most succinct perspective anyone has yet taken. 'Tat Tvam Asi' -- 'That art thou'
Hoping to catch up soon!