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Hellish week
13 years ago
So yeah, I just got into a new school, started studies there 7th this month. Otherwise this is a good thing, but during the first week at the new school it doesn't seem like a good thing after all.
Because first of all, the subject that I went to study is maybe not the most suitable one for me, was at the first place just slightly interesting. It's about model building. I'm not actually very experienced with any model building, I'm just experienced doing some little things involving it. I absolutely don't understand why I was even accepted to enter this line after the entrance exams, that I didn't even do that well in my opinion.
But otherwise model building seems very interesting, but everything is so absolutely confusing and I fear that I can't do everything that is required. Of course I can do things like carving something with wood and clave and paint everything, but I fear that's not enough.
But the school days themselves are really long and I have to travel by bus to there and back for 1,5 hours, so I have barely any free time anymore to do things that I like for real, like drawing and such. And then of course, there are the school mates. Everyone are annoying, mean and noisy drunkards, of course. So it seems I'm not going to get along with anyone here either as I'm very different, and have to be all alone still. I never get along with people because of how different I am and that's why I'm all the time very lonely.
In a nutshell, the first week at the new school was absolutely hellish because of the long days, lack of information about anything and everything being so confusing as I'm not that experienced with model building, and because of school mates that already take on my nerves. When I barely even survived from the first week, how am I supposed to survive for 3 YEARS?
Perhaps I will get used to all these things and things will get better during this spring, but it's really hard for me to thing anything positive about anything. I just have a feeling that things won't get any better and I will absolutely loose my mind. From my experience I have learned that when I have the feeling that things won't get better, I usually end up being right.
If things won't get better and model building is not that right thing for me, I can try to enter any of the art-schools this spring, but the problem is that it's so hard to get to any schools and lines that I'm interested in for real.
Oh yes and since I barely have any free time anymore, there won't be that much of pictures coming from me anymore. it really saddens me I maybe have to give up with the drawing completly because of the lack of time.
I'm so depressed and alone...
Because first of all, the subject that I went to study is maybe not the most suitable one for me, was at the first place just slightly interesting. It's about model building. I'm not actually very experienced with any model building, I'm just experienced doing some little things involving it. I absolutely don't understand why I was even accepted to enter this line after the entrance exams, that I didn't even do that well in my opinion.
But otherwise model building seems very interesting, but everything is so absolutely confusing and I fear that I can't do everything that is required. Of course I can do things like carving something with wood and clave and paint everything, but I fear that's not enough.
But the school days themselves are really long and I have to travel by bus to there and back for 1,5 hours, so I have barely any free time anymore to do things that I like for real, like drawing and such. And then of course, there are the school mates. Everyone are annoying, mean and noisy drunkards, of course. So it seems I'm not going to get along with anyone here either as I'm very different, and have to be all alone still. I never get along with people because of how different I am and that's why I'm all the time very lonely.
In a nutshell, the first week at the new school was absolutely hellish because of the long days, lack of information about anything and everything being so confusing as I'm not that experienced with model building, and because of school mates that already take on my nerves. When I barely even survived from the first week, how am I supposed to survive for 3 YEARS?
Perhaps I will get used to all these things and things will get better during this spring, but it's really hard for me to thing anything positive about anything. I just have a feeling that things won't get any better and I will absolutely loose my mind. From my experience I have learned that when I have the feeling that things won't get better, I usually end up being right.
If things won't get better and model building is not that right thing for me, I can try to enter any of the art-schools this spring, but the problem is that it's so hard to get to any schools and lines that I'm interested in for real.
Oh yes and since I barely have any free time anymore, there won't be that much of pictures coming from me anymore. it really saddens me I maybe have to give up with the drawing completly because of the lack of time.
I'm so depressed and alone...
This whole thing sounds very interesting, and just the fear that it might not be enough does not mean it won't be enough. Don't let your fears have the best of you, and maybe you will even find someone you like and get along with too, who knows!
Also you don't have to give up drawing. Maybe you won't have much time to do that now, but that won't mean will never have the time to draw again.
And don't let loneliness take you down either. If you want someone to talk to, I'm always up for a chat. I know it's not the same thing as knowing people in real life (I personally prefer loneliness) but yeah, if I can help you feel less lonely I will gladly talk to you all you want
But since I rarely have much to say and I always have the feeling I'm annoying people with my presence I always hesitate to come down to "let's talk" stuff >_>'
Thank you!
i'm a loner in a nutshell too on the schools and in every other place, just dont think you are alone and it's all ^^
well to be sincere, with the cuantity of spirits and souls everywhere one is never alone, also you have the friends at long distance too n.-
if you are bored try to get as much silence on you mind and mute the sound of the exterior and try talking with yourself or, a rock, or crystal or even a feather, anything and you can have some pretty decent conversations all racional s you never feel all alone X3
im talking fr real :3
at the end you will notice that being alone is a bit more pleasant than being with people ^^
*stops hugging and then hugs you more * ^^
also you have my permision to sketch us together doing random things, i tend to sketch my fursona interacting with chars and peoples when i feel alone , is a good weapon against loneliness too n.-
And actually I'm not feeling bored, I'm feeling depressed and stressed instead. But your suggestion sounds like it works with those too. Of course I still am rather alone than being surrounded by annoying people, but when I'm surrounded by annoying people it would be good to have a friend with me. But I can always do what you suggested and think about you and my other friends around the world. ^^
Thanks, I'm glad that I have a permission to draw you and being with me. ^^ I have been imagineing us being together and doing random things when I'm feeling alone and depressed and I'm glad I have a permission to draw such events too ^^. You also have a permission to draw me or any other of my characters too if you ever want to draw them.^^
Thank you for cheering me up, milady *capehugs*
and i will sketch us more often then ^^
but might not upload all ^^'
And it's ok if you won't upload everything X3