This is getting tougher and tougher as the days go by, but I am so steadfast and resilient. My desperation is rising as it has always but my sadness from it is spiking continually more often...
I need to get a life...
I need to get social..
I need others I can hug and hold...
An odd desire for at least getting naked to hug soemone...
I love you all so much, your work... its namely what makes me sad...
I want soemone to hold...
I want people too hold...
I want to meet and hug and snuggle and love (maybe not making it ^^;) the real counter parts to our online pressence...
I don;t care abotu status of realtionships... if your a two then I will settle for hugging you both at he same time...
I wan to have the feeling like being part of a pack or litter...
I'm scared, I'm shy.. I just need someone to be my guiding light to others...
i am nto very out going...
Ilack proper socila interaction behavior...
I hate to feel needy, but I jsut need soemone or others who can enjoy me and I can enjoy them... and their company (regaurdless of implications)
I want physical proof as to that there can be someone I can physically see and care about as much as I desire tere to be soemone to do the same with me...
Do I want? or do I need? all I know is that I'm always feeling lonely..., I am jsut oo isolated... and always feel aleinated though feeling that I alienate others -.-
I need some happiness and joy... somehtign that my endless hours of video gaming can;t bring... role playing...
i need a purpose and reason to live... one higher than simply the idea of living and sponging off of others...
I'd gladly video chat wiht anyone if I ge the chance when my parents arn;t aorund... but wht good does htat do when I just want o hug you... and cry in disbelief that I am doing so?
I don;t knwo who or what I am.... all I know is that I desire male companionship, even if not sole courtship... My life is just so bittersweet right now... it technically always has been... I never know how to something myself... and always afaird everytime the slightest light appeers to fade...
I don;t know... I cna't ever commit suicide, I don;t have what it takes... I but every day is jsut he same angusihing feeling even if not aparrent...