Note, this post and the post I link too are about heroin and use and relapse and other possible triggers. it means a lot to me if anyone reads all of both posts but if you can't don't.

Today marks 10 years clean off heroin... wow.
i wrote somthing 5 years ago. It still fits.
http://mazz.livejournal.com/746590.html

Over the past 5 years a lot has changed, my little sister found a great man got married.
My daughter hasn't stopped growing. Cancer seems to be lying dormant and it's nice.

This past year has been the hardest. Depression hit, I wasn't supported but treated badly for my depression. Dumped and thrown out and replaced with something 10 years younger than me.
Suicidal, broken and wishing for death. Not even 2 weeks ago I thought about relapsing and taking that sweet horrible drug into my veins so I can't feel the pain anymore. I wanted it to end.
I almost went back to heroin... It was hard for me not too but I pushed passed it.

I've been in a new fresh relationship for a few days... what we have isn't what I had with my husband but what we have is what I need right now and it works well.

Life is hard, I would have regretted using when I hit that low. I know I would have. I was so close to this 10 year mark. IT FEELS GREAT to have hit it.

10 years clean....
Who'd have thought I'd make it this far.

Stay Up, Stay Kind, Stay Alive, Ride Free.