Been there plenty of times. it can be a downer/annoyance for sure. Some do it intentionally, some may not realize that was going on.

Yeah, sometimes I wonder whether they realize how alienating their behavior is ._.

Very much so.

XD i hear you there

yeah, i dont have any furry friends so i know exactly what your talking about.

I daresay it's worse when you do have friends, because you see people and you want to interact with them, should be able to interact with them, but they're just drifting from place to place with OTHER friends and you, in your possibly crippled social graces, are at least smart enough to not intrude on their good time ._.

Is it worse overall than simply not having friends? Probably not. But at a con, it's somewhat crushing to be unable to spend time with people because you're outclassed by their better friends.

Yes. :C

Then there's this guy, who Indigo wouldn't stop talking about, which made me le sad because I've always failed at interacting with him too!

I just get dragged around most of the time, never quite fitting in anywhere and never really having a specific group to be part of...just my bf and maybe 1 friend--there always manages to be at least one friend being blown off by their other friends too. The cliques have gotten progressively worse and it feels uninviting. That's why I stopped going to them. :X

Awuh, should've come. We were the anti-clique. The people who only loosely know each other, don't know everyone, and don't want to or can't be part a clique.

Also everyone wants to put you in a corgi fursuit.

I hate when that happens.... 3=

That has happened to many people. Too many.

You'd think that enough people would be put off by cliques to later be wary of forming them D:

Which is why I never form my own clique or be part of one. I believe in being friends with a lot of people. There's no such thing as having only a certain amount of friends.

I don't have any group of friends for cons. From my perspective, when i saw you you were already in a group of your own and i was the wondering loner, only able to enter groups while in Fursuit for a hug, and then i awkwardly move on.

I did have groups at times, but they weren't really cliques because their composition changed from minute to minute. Sometimes it was  sepffuzzball's Atlanta Furs friends. Other times it was Indigo and Rusker. Harry Blacktail was often with us. But there was no group of "travel together, room together, walk together, eat together" beyond me and, obviously, my mate ~o~

I'm just saying, I wondered pretty much 80% of the time myself. I'd stand at the edge of a group, listen in for a bit, and then awkwardly move on. When i was in suit i could interject myself a bit better, but out of suit I was a ghost. >.>

Anyways.... Good morning! :3

Also random fursuiters are the best interruption for cliques and groups. You just can't get mad at them ~.~

Everyone kept calling me a Doggy. v.v

Sometimes, when I'm suiting, I walk up to people and deck them. People think it's adorable!

I like to chat with people while at cons....though I'm also there with my GF so that limits things a bit for me lol

That can do that, though it's to be expected so one can't really fault you for it!

well you have to push past the social norm's.
i mean you're all fur's a con give it a chance and just mingle

Even with furries, intruding on a clique is awkward and doesn't turn out well. It's like walking in on a high school club, halfway through the year.

Well that's it really. for most fur's high school was their end to IRL interaction with real people. so as sad as that is that's all some know, so that's how they act

thats kinda the opposite of what he's saying though... at least i think

No, it's really not. Small group of exclusive people that go EVERYWHERE together.

i dont think 40 is a small group

I might be misinterpreting it, but organizing small dinners with vore furs sounds like clique-ish behavior in the first place, as does the subsequent annoyance when people try to introduce new friends .o.

Feh. Forget that I said anything.

never seen this happen :P

I lingered between a lot of people I never hung out with before, and I am happy about that fact.

I'm proud of you, son.

Really though, that's about the best you can ask for at a con.

Dawww... you shoulda sent me a message! Woulda loved to hang out with the sexy red fuzzdragon! <3

Alas, I'm less sexy, red, fuzzy and dragony offline! And I did a very poor job at keeping track of who I wanted to meet up at FC. Just sorta checked Twitter a lot to remind myself.

Hahaha, this is what most of my encounters at going to furmeets is like for me. B) I guess you could go "Hi, I'm Twile, I'm kind of a big deal in the fandom."

Silly. If you have to tell someone you're a big deal, you aren't to them, because then they would've already heard of you ;3

Naw I mostly just idle with random friends at cons. Strangers no longer refer to me as "THE Twile", and that only happened a few times anyway.

It's because there's less of your dick everywhere. :<

Wahhh don't say things like that, you're a college buddy, you shouldn't think of me like dis ;o;

I'm just speaking objectively! I of course don't care about such things :D

There are still times I'm referred to as "THE Draco" or "oh, you're THAT Draco". I find it flattering. :3

To me you're not THE Draco or THAT Draco, you're That Dragon Who Never Cuddles Me ;o;

my first con folks couldn't be sure to refer to me as Leo or Talon..... and in the end i got the occasional hey you ..at AC this year I just know someone'll refer to me as Posh... I have hand made way way to many badges...

my first con folks couldn't be sure to refer to me as Leo or Talon..... and in the end i got the occasional hey you ..at AC this year I just know someone'll refer to me as Posh... I have hand made way way to many badges...

I don't view it as a problem, really. :o I generally assume that if they're a friend, their friends are probably worth getting to know, so I'll tag along assuming they aren't avoiding me or something. Might make a new friend or two and end up joining that "clique"! Just have to see 'em as an opportunity to meet even more people rather than something to be afraid of.

Generally this behavior is frowned upon, but if it works for you...!

I guess it depends on your definition of a "clique." I mean, you can't expect people to not follow their friends around the maybe once a year or less they get to see each other irl, can you? Or are we defining "clique" as something other than just a bunch of friends going places together?

'Cuz, like... when I walk around with groups of friends, any time any of us sees a friend, even if they're only a friend of one of us, we'll usually invite them along, and more than once it's led to that person making friends with one or more new people. :o It's never been a bad thing that I know of, as long as you don't make it into some exclusive thing and tell everybody that wants to join in that you're too busy for them.

I know this far too well, and it pissed me off many a time. For the past few years, actually, this has gnawed at me and haunts me even still at cons.

Right? It's teh lame.

Welcome to any kind of big human gathering! We're social critters.... in that we like to form exclusionary cliques of like minds and/or interests!

Ya, that's one of the reasons FC is always kind of hit or miss for me, a lot of people I know get dragged along into various cliques leaving me on the lonesome. AC tends to be more fun in the sense I know a lot more folks not quite so 'associated' as it were.

I encounter cliques wherever I go ;o;

Yeah it kind of depends on who you know at the particular con. Like Califur I was pretty much stuck with a couple friends because I didn't know anyone else :v

Mmmhmm, I've experienced it a few times myself.

I hope if you wanted to come with us to foods at some point you would've said something. I wouldn't mind hanging out with you more! Barely saw ya this time.

Morca's guidelines dictate to not invite yourself along to meals. So I did not.

Now that you said that, actually I can't remember having any meals with Morca at all this con! And I think he meant for people he doesn't know and who don't ask but just follow creepily. As for me, I don't know you that well so I didn't think to invite you specifically but you certainly would've been welcome.

Nobody knows me well enough to invite me to lunch ;^;

Inviting ones-self along to food is precisely why my friend makes dinner reservations for a certain number of people and acts on a first come first serve basis. When dinner is full, it's full. It's quite helpful to have an array of friends at a con.. going on your own/with one other person is a bit rough if that other person isn't willing to bring you/ask you along to everything.

The other problem is being a dragon.. dragons at cons are like, the misery of busy. We all know each other and we all have like 10 cliques and bouncing back and forth is miserable and rough.

But really, I cherish the alone time I get at cons, since they're hectic and loud. Some time to myself is nice, and even with people I see everyday. I spent more time with people that live near me, this con, than in the past.. and it was a blast.

I could never do reservations at a furry con. Furries and plans don't get along well.

Also being a dragon is hard, bitches don't even know ._.

They really don't :P Being a dragon at a con is like, a whole different level.

Reservations at cons go well when you have the person who isn't afraid to say "Sorry guys we're full, find other plans tonight."

Yep, and if you miss the boat, go find someone else to chill with, use the opportunity to spend time with other people.

That actually works, you also don't have to spend your entire con glued to one person or that one small group, you'd be surprised at what kind of fun people you can meet or fun things you can get up to if you just wander around or drop a few text messages.

I'm surprised you don't have one.

I have a clique of 3. And 2/3rds of those people are me or my mate ~_~;

Oh definitely!... and admittedly I DO havea 'cliche' of my own... it's the 'I'm-here-ta-party-an-I-don't-care-who-all-comes-along' cliche!

m'sure ya know that cliche... it's the one where most everybody contributes not only ta havin' a good time but tryin' ta make sure everybody involved makes it back safe an sound kinda thing... sure there may be someone that gets a bit outta line but most usually several'a us're on hand ta smooth things over an make sure we don't turn it inta somethin' a furcon regrets havin' us attend!

shoot I only attend maybe 2 furcons a year... an even that's way more'n MY budget allows heh... an I look on these gatherin's as a kinda furry family reunion so yeah I like partyin' with critters I only see maybe once or twice a year but we keep things civil so that we CAN keep havin' these get t'gethers y'know...

hope ta see ya at one soon Bigfuzzybutt! ;)

Clique, not cliche! A clique is a small social group where everyone knows everyone else. A cliche is... well you already know what a cliche is x3

Don't make me put yer cock in a chokehold buddy! ;)

Yea its hella lame :c But I also have the problem of knowing too many people and sometimes I can't even find people! Not enough time at giant cons. Hopefully I'll be able to find you another time~

Why would you want to find meee, I'm lame.

I wouldn't know if you were lame! I couldn't find you! :P

I stopped going to AC because of cliques. It was just me hanging out with Sepf, which I can do for free at home ~_~

I want to hug them. And use them for clean, renewable energy.

Still worth attending a con if only to see what it's all about. Just realize that ideally things would be more socially fulfilling if you had friends with you.

I get this at most conventions I end up going to, but its not so much the little groups that get me. More so the fact that I don't often have many friends to hang out with, so I can sympathize. Still! If we happen to be at a con together, I'd love to stop by and say hello! :D

Hellos are always appreciated n.n

U going yo winter elliot's?

Naw, though hoping for Spring.

We could've made our own group

Are you socially active in any, like, smaller online communities? :3 For example, do you go to any chat rooms, or have a group of friends that you play games with all the time? The reason I ask is that for me at least, the people I hang out with most whenever I go to conventions usually come from these smaller groups. These are the people with whom I've spent a great deal of my time and formed bonds, and they are my main motivation for going to conventions these days. A lot of these people that I know have the same motivations for going, which is why, I feel, we all end up hanging out together so much.

I guess my point is that if you want a close circle of friends, you've got to start engaging people on a more broader level rather than on a one-on-one basis. :3 Join some communities, try to be part of a group.

P.S - With all of that said, I do like hanging out with other people that I know outside of these groups! Like, say, if you and I were going to be at the same convention, I'd totally want to hang out with you, because we do have a history and I have formed bonds with you. I'd totally invite you along with the group I'm hanging with, and they'd be cool with it.

actually yeah it hink i know what you mean had some of that feeling while at fc (but i was alone anyways X3)

yes. xD But it's in that moment you need to seize the opportunity to make 3 or 4 additional friends.

haha yeah, last year was my first time going and I was super eager to meet new peeps. There was a dragon I just wanted to say hi to but couldn't find him for the life of me!
This year I did find him... and his entourage... and around them not a single fuck was to be found.
tis a shame, he's nice online : \

I tend to hang out with a handful of people I know well, mostly because of social anxiety.

YOU GUYS WERE MY ONLY FRIENDS.

FC/AC... yeah, right off of my list. Too big. It doesn't even matter if `everybody you know is going` because there are too many people there who are splitting their time too many ways if they try to catch up with everybody. You don't get any valuable time with anybody at that rate.

I stick to smaller conventions where I know I'll have a chance to chill with my friends and a chance to make new friends while I'm there, even if I don't see as many people that I know - at least I'm getting some quality time with these people. :>

When you get a con as big as FC/AC, you may as well only go if you're looking to spend a lot of money on the dealers, or have pre-planned a crazy event like a wild themed room party.

You just have to go into it knowing you won't get time to see absolutely everyone, and be ok with that. I certainly didn't get to see everyone I wanted to, but with the people I DID end up spending a lot of time with, that made the whole thing worth it.

eh. When I start doing the math of how much money gets spent at a convention like AC/FC though between my boyfriend and I though, it's way more attractive to just throw a party locally and fly 2-3 friends in for it. ^^

Depends where you live at that point.

FC cost me <$300 in all, AC would cost me >$700

It's also nice to have a place you know all of your friends will be at some point in the year. That time you don't get to see them the whole year.. and you get that one weekend you know you'll get in at least a hello with some, and a whole lot of time with others.

Worth the small fee to me.

If only all our friends lived super-close but that never happens :P

The issue is that, people will naturally stick to the friends that they have made as a "group". When people are in a group, it's very hard to introduce new people to that group because the group size is intimidating. Also, people easily have their own "groups" at cons because of the Hotel Room. Most people Room with their friends, therefore they are often always together in that group!

It's very intimidating to jump in on a group thing unless there is something else going on to "distract" from it! Which is why, at AC, I hang out in the tabletop room with my mate. Games allow us to distract from the "omg let's make new friends in this group" and allow us to play a game, to see if we all bond together!

It really depends where you are in your example. If you're a part of the Clique, giving 'new people chances' is what it's about. If you're the outsider, when given the chance, you have to prove that you're worth the time! More than enough furs, after seeing someone already has a few people they chill with on the regular, will go sulking back to their corner or whatnot. Bad social skills~ Gotta get out there, make moves.

Just like real life. Bad social skills aren't furry exclusive. :3

You gots ta fireball dat shit!

This. Every single year. And it's kinda mind boggling too. Like, why go to a convention and travel, to hang out with the same goddamn people?

Now, that isn't to say that everyone does this. I got to see a good number of people and most were pretty friendly. But some would cling to their friends legs like they were being dragged around. Seems like an absurd use of money and time, if you ask me.

Unfortunately so, but I have enjoyed hanging around with you for what time I could during previous cons. :3

Then on the off-chance you get invited into a clique, the other members completely blank you for being an 'outsider'. :V

I've got plenty of experience dealin' with cliques... but never at cons cus I've never been to one. I think the closest one too me is in Colorado... Hm. No way I could afford to travel all the way down thar. XD

I like to try and introduce myself to the other members of the clique too, not just the person who I originally wanted to meet. Of course, I usually get ignored by everyone but that's normal for me. That happens outside of cons too.

I hope this year will be a bit better for me. I'm a real life cyborg now, and I can hear because of it.

x3 meh I see that stuff everywhere even among my own family members at social gatherings... x_x; ugh and it only serves to remind me how... very few people I know IRL share the same interests I have in things.

Though what Retna does say, I could see... <w< it's the matter of running into Tuskai, Jinsei, or Zalir...or Catherine.

I think most, if not all, experience this at cons.
For me it happens both with furs I'd love to chat\dine\hang with and those I used to but have since gotten into other big\busy groups.

However I think that many also assume too much just on such quick glances; resulting in a lot of furs who dodge each other by both assuming the same of the other, when both wish to hang out!
A quick and polite interruption to say 'hi' shouldn't be offensive and can offer enough time to make a direct request to meet up. Gotta stick one's neck out a bit in these things and risk some rejection or plans falling through (which the combined lunacy of fur-cons + how difficult it is to schedule anything with groups of furs small-and-large, could be an honest mistake).

Certainly not denying the high-school flavor of cliques, just a quick stroll through the lobby reveals it~

Do you not have a clique yourself? You're pretty popufur for it...

No, I do not have a clique.

Pretty hard to believe, considering the amount of pictures of you I see all over the fandom.

It's why I try to be inclusive when I can. Cliques like that I find are just plain rude.

Bingo, Give the dragon a prize, encore.. er... maybe i'm getting to excited. maybe I'm just remembering my first time and replacing my extreme shyness with cliques..but folks who already know eachother well and in person make me feel like a useless appendage... (working on being more assertive to help with that. Though since i did start to get into the swing eventually perhaps the problem was more me.. ) But anyhow, Since i know how it feels to be a loner I try to help in the little ways that I can.. though as anyone, I'm far from perfect..

Ugh, yeah. And there are too many furries who discriminate against others for stupid reasons. e.g., I'm not a dragon, therefore I'm not cool.

That's why I am too afraid to go to furry conventions, even though I sort of want to, lol

This is very true in many cases though often i meet a few people who are a blast each time i do go. I do not go to that many (1-2 a year) and i have seen what you are talking about plenty. Unfortunatly you cant do a lot..i get lucky a lot of people recognize my dragon and ive met a good few dozen people that way.

I guess its just something you get used to and accept..there are plenty of those who will openly invite you and get to know you some and there are others who prefer to stay in their established groups. Not really wrong perse but i look at it as they are missing out on meeting people. I usually have 2-3 friends with me but if anyone runs into me and say hi we welcome em right in..we are a friendly and welcoming little group of dragons..guess its maybe we are all fluffy but one XD

either way i understand what you mean wholeheartedly and it can be frustrating..you feel awkward trying to push your way in enough to get noticed but really wish to meet people sometimes.

FWA is one of the worst about it

FWA 2012 for me was a nightmare becasue of this. FWA 2013 was a whole new story becasue I said fuck the cliques and I hung out with my friends anyways and got to know everyone :3

i get this experience a lot at cons as well.

kind of why i try to make sure i can hangout with anyone who wants to actively seek me out rather than my feeling i'm just imposing on them and their friends as well. :I

oddly: it works better this way too :0