“The Blade.” Everyone has one. That little knife in their hand. People are impossible to fully trust. A flaw most…. Maybe all people have. It’s not enough that some go and plunge this knife into your back. But there are even those who twist it as they stab. Leaving a larger wound then if it where a simple stab. But What gets me the most is when someone you really trust or care for. Someone who you had 100% loyalty to.. Take out their knife and thrusts it into you back So hard and deep. It pierces your heart. I know from experience I have enough knife wounds that would last me a life time and likely will. There are even those wounds that still drive me to great pain. Ever sense I was a child I’ve had knife after knife stabbed into my back. Growing up and then high school it was worse. Maybe a little funny to most. I still recall the mocking list that was posted all over the school two maybe three days befor graduation. Of who was voted to most likely do what. I was rather amused by it myself. That was until I found out I was listed as the most likely to bring a gun to school and shoot up the place. I was never popular in school hell I only had 2 friends. If you could call them that. I had a collection of classes meant to teach me to behave in school. You know those behavior management classes. The only real thing that made me learn. Was that people want you to keep everything bottled up. No one wants to hear how you feel. Right now… I can feel it all creeping under my skin. A hungry shadow just waiting ready to swallow me whole… I’m not sure but I’ve been having seizures lately... Each has lasted about 10 minutes. But the last one a while back lasted near an hour befor I finally fought my way awake. Maybe I’m just being emo or maybe the shadow is trying to rip me apart. Either way I’m getting off topic. Not like anyone will read this long winded crap anyway. In truth most of you will just likely see this journal on your watch list and click the nuke or delete button. But I can feel it all welling up inside me… Another knife in my back… their silken hand still on the handle. Twisting it… turning it. Burring it deeper.. I feel lost. In a dark void with not light. I try to be brave. Put on a mask to chase it all away…. Forsaken?… Betrayed?...