FA+
Shop
Moving On [Le Rant]
12 years ago
Warning:The following can be considered bitching/whining, irritating, and quite pathetic. I hate to rant but I need to let it out a bit and vent. The last thing I want to do is to bother someone else with my bullshit though :T
I wish I had a time machine to go back 4 years ago. That's the length of time I've been stuck in this depressing rut of being a total hermit douche. You see, I never had the chance to make friends or even talk to anyone else that was gay/bi. All of my friends growing up were straight and mostly teammates of mine in sports. With that in mind, I felt like I couldn't really express myself much. I got fed up keeping to myself that one day I came out to my best friend and a couple others. After I let the cat out of the bag it seemed like they weren't comfortable around me anymore. It made me feel rejected, stupid, and wretched ;~;
From me being raised in a completely heterosexual environment, to all my friends constantly badgering everyone with homophobic slurs all the time left me feeling conflicted with my sexuality. It's so debilitating to my self-confidence that I tend to keep to myself all the time and pretty much alienate myself from everyone. I'm trying to avoid any conflict or confrontation I guess, idk. Fuck, it pisses me off how I act like a total pussy all the time xC
To sum everything up, I'm being a lil bitch shutting myself in for a good few years now with no friends or social life, crying myself to sleep some nights feeling all alone and it's my own dam fault. ;~;
Don't get me wrong I love meeting people and making new friends but I get so anxious now that I start to avoid people cuz I think I'm different and weird. After all these years of loathing around I think I might have gone socially retarded or something. -.-
I wish I had a time machine to go back 4 years ago. That's the length of time I've been stuck in this depressing rut of being a total hermit douche. You see, I never had the chance to make friends or even talk to anyone else that was gay/bi. All of my friends growing up were straight and mostly teammates of mine in sports. With that in mind, I felt like I couldn't really express myself much. I got fed up keeping to myself that one day I came out to my best friend and a couple others. After I let the cat out of the bag it seemed like they weren't comfortable around me anymore. It made me feel rejected, stupid, and wretched ;~;
From me being raised in a completely heterosexual environment, to all my friends constantly badgering everyone with homophobic slurs all the time left me feeling conflicted with my sexuality. It's so debilitating to my self-confidence that I tend to keep to myself all the time and pretty much alienate myself from everyone. I'm trying to avoid any conflict or confrontation I guess, idk. Fuck, it pisses me off how I act like a total pussy all the time xC
To sum everything up, I'm being a lil bitch shutting myself in for a good few years now with no friends or social life, crying myself to sleep some nights feeling all alone and it's my own dam fault. ;~;
Don't get me wrong I love meeting people and making new friends but I get so anxious now that I start to avoid people cuz I think I'm different and weird. After all these years of loathing around I think I might have gone socially retarded or something. -.-
