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So..new things..
13 years ago
General
It's been awhile since I really said how my life is going (not that anyone really reads most of my journals anyways)
Anyways, i'll be talking about school, IRL friends, Dota 2 and F-list.
SO I got a F-list and Dota 2, but I'm a total noob so don't hate me >3> and for F-list, you may wanna ask, because I don't want to send out that kind of info to everyone >/////>
so about school, i'm acing in fitness training (basically gym), and since it's mostly just..well fitness, I have an easy A, and I'm sure that'll help my GPA. Other than that, I'm getting a firm hold on my assignments and trying to catch up completely, so then my grades improve. I'm really doing most of this for the sake of looking good when I apply for Rasmussen. I am smarter than my grades are showing, believe me, it's just the assignments that get in the way of that. I even took a entrance exam for a community college and I was AWESOME in reading and writing, just...not good in college math (my only math class for the whole school year isn't going over that kind of math yet).
Along with school, I have just AWESOME friends.. yea-no. I have one friend who kicks my ass 9 out of 10 times in yugioh, wanna know why? Because he's got friends to trade, plenty of money to get the latest stuff and nearly.. 6-9 OP decks. Gem knights, fairies, darkworld, undead, those are the ones I can think right now and each one I can barely even play against. I have the chaos dragons deck and the ONLY thing I need to make this deck even CLOSE to having a fair chance with his decks is just ONE card. A Horus lvl 6, I got the one 4 and 8, but I need the 6 so I have a chance doing a horus/royal decree lockdown, which would be the only OP thing I have against any of his OP decks. I don't have money that I can use for it, and all I have are three, the other two are atlanteans and ancient gears. Problems are, I don't have mermans for the atlanteans, and I don't have many cards I can use to get my stronger Ancient Gears out like engineer, chimera and golem, even the gadgetron dragon or whatever it's spelled.
Now.. enough with ranting about yugioh, anyways my friend wanted my mystical shine ball, and he wouldn't stop mentioning it till yesterday, when I finally gave it to him without getting the level 6 I wanted from him. He wouldn't give it to me because he knows I would use it against him, and he wouldn't let me have a chance... so you can tell how i'm feeling, being the loser of nearly every 90 out of 100 duels and then not having the one single card that I could use to be level with him.. so I decided, 'fuck it, i'll give him what he wants, but I won't duel ever again, not with him at least.." so I gave him that card and since then, I didn't bother dueling, but it only started yesterday. What did piss me off is seeing that today during lunch, he didn't give a shit about it and instead gave one of his decks to a friend and had him duel for the time we had lunch. So you can tell how I feel very.. left out, not just because I made the choice to stop, but because I was easily replaced.. some friend he is..
At that point on today, I was sooooo sad and lonely, even though my friends were just inches away from me. Again, I remember that I have no one to hold, no one to nuzzle or cuddle, not a single guy would really want to come to me and do this, want to know why? Because the only one who's even open enough to do it is already taken.. and besides, why would he ever want to hold me? I scared him several times, it wasn't even any bad like a death threat. It was a threat for sure, but it was something very silly like licking him, and yet he was upset and scared from that..
I just hate being so alone right now.. no one in my school I want to hold because I know that it would be very short lived.. it would be just friendly, not intimate or anything..
Well that's all I got to say for now, glad you actually read all of this, unless you just skimmed or skipped through. Either way, the effort is appreciated..
Anyways, i'll be talking about school, IRL friends, Dota 2 and F-list.
SO I got a F-list and Dota 2, but I'm a total noob so don't hate me >3> and for F-list, you may wanna ask, because I don't want to send out that kind of info to everyone >/////>
so about school, i'm acing in fitness training (basically gym), and since it's mostly just..well fitness, I have an easy A, and I'm sure that'll help my GPA. Other than that, I'm getting a firm hold on my assignments and trying to catch up completely, so then my grades improve. I'm really doing most of this for the sake of looking good when I apply for Rasmussen. I am smarter than my grades are showing, believe me, it's just the assignments that get in the way of that. I even took a entrance exam for a community college and I was AWESOME in reading and writing, just...not good in college math (my only math class for the whole school year isn't going over that kind of math yet).
Along with school, I have just AWESOME friends.. yea-no. I have one friend who kicks my ass 9 out of 10 times in yugioh, wanna know why? Because he's got friends to trade, plenty of money to get the latest stuff and nearly.. 6-9 OP decks. Gem knights, fairies, darkworld, undead, those are the ones I can think right now and each one I can barely even play against. I have the chaos dragons deck and the ONLY thing I need to make this deck even CLOSE to having a fair chance with his decks is just ONE card. A Horus lvl 6, I got the one 4 and 8, but I need the 6 so I have a chance doing a horus/royal decree lockdown, which would be the only OP thing I have against any of his OP decks. I don't have money that I can use for it, and all I have are three, the other two are atlanteans and ancient gears. Problems are, I don't have mermans for the atlanteans, and I don't have many cards I can use to get my stronger Ancient Gears out like engineer, chimera and golem, even the gadgetron dragon or whatever it's spelled.
Now.. enough with ranting about yugioh, anyways my friend wanted my mystical shine ball, and he wouldn't stop mentioning it till yesterday, when I finally gave it to him without getting the level 6 I wanted from him. He wouldn't give it to me because he knows I would use it against him, and he wouldn't let me have a chance... so you can tell how i'm feeling, being the loser of nearly every 90 out of 100 duels and then not having the one single card that I could use to be level with him.. so I decided, 'fuck it, i'll give him what he wants, but I won't duel ever again, not with him at least.." so I gave him that card and since then, I didn't bother dueling, but it only started yesterday. What did piss me off is seeing that today during lunch, he didn't give a shit about it and instead gave one of his decks to a friend and had him duel for the time we had lunch. So you can tell how I feel very.. left out, not just because I made the choice to stop, but because I was easily replaced.. some friend he is..
At that point on today, I was sooooo sad and lonely, even though my friends were just inches away from me. Again, I remember that I have no one to hold, no one to nuzzle or cuddle, not a single guy would really want to come to me and do this, want to know why? Because the only one who's even open enough to do it is already taken.. and besides, why would he ever want to hold me? I scared him several times, it wasn't even any bad like a death threat. It was a threat for sure, but it was something very silly like licking him, and yet he was upset and scared from that..
I just hate being so alone right now.. no one in my school I want to hold because I know that it would be very short lived.. it would be just friendly, not intimate or anything..
Well that's all I got to say for now, glad you actually read all of this, unless you just skimmed or skipped through. Either way, the effort is appreciated..
Hope you find someone soon,
Mal