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13 years ago
Sent at 10:55pm EST on January 30th, 2013.
You know, I woke up this morning in since then I argued with myself all day whether or not I should even send this email. I mean, nothing good will come out of it. But, well fuck it. Shit isn’t gonna get any worse...
Your last day passed. Today was my last day off for the month and I didn’t hear a thing from you. And you’re not gonna get February's days off from me. I noticed you got a new car because, yes, I’ve been checking your Facebook page every night. And every time I bring it up I yell at myself thinking “You’re an idiot Greg, cause he’s not even thinking twice about you.”
I even posted some public status and foursquare check ins on Facebook so you could see exactly where I am, I left a trail for you trying to keep that little ray of hope alive.
[name], when I first met you I told you I had no hope. And I also told you “don’t give up on me.” This whole ordeal and me constantly thinking and wondering about you has just left me feeling even less hopeful than I did when I started, abandoned, confused, hurt, sad, and tired. Emotionally, mentally, and just eternally... tired.
I guess this is all my fault for falling for the “maybe, just maybe” theories again.
And the amazing part was, I really did want to just forgive you and be happy again. I remember being a whole different person when I was with you and life was just really good. Now, the condo my Mom lives in is being bought out from under her, and my Dad is about to sell the house I’ve lived in my whole life. Work is ridiculous and I just feel,
you know I sat there staring at the screen trying to find a word, but I can’t even create or conger up something to describe how I feel.
I don’t know if what you said, was real. At this point I don’t believe anything was real. But I really did like you, or love you...
Remember when I was whining “ugh you’ve made me a softie” and so on? I never say it out loud, but when I open up like I did, I am really panicking on the inside, because I know I am my most vulnerable and I’m going to get hurt, and when I do, I will be the least prepared for it.
I was right and wrong about you.
I know I said I’m done with you, and I know I’ve said “THIS TIME I MEAN IT” but.....reality is I’m never going to be “done” with you. Your memory hurts, and I don’t forget getting hurt.
I’m really tired of this back and forth, and I just give up. Please [name], don’t respond to this. That’s not some reverse phycology thing, I mean it. Don’t hurt me anymore, just let me make you a memory and end it all.
I’m not angry anymore, I’m just...... tired.
~Greg M. [last name]
qTech Technical Assistance President
Sprint Sales Representative
========================================
*Sent using Windows Live Mail 2012 Client*
You know, I woke up this morning in since then I argued with myself all day whether or not I should even send this email. I mean, nothing good will come out of it. But, well fuck it. Shit isn’t gonna get any worse...
Your last day passed. Today was my last day off for the month and I didn’t hear a thing from you. And you’re not gonna get February's days off from me. I noticed you got a new car because, yes, I’ve been checking your Facebook page every night. And every time I bring it up I yell at myself thinking “You’re an idiot Greg, cause he’s not even thinking twice about you.”
I even posted some public status and foursquare check ins on Facebook so you could see exactly where I am, I left a trail for you trying to keep that little ray of hope alive.
[name], when I first met you I told you I had no hope. And I also told you “don’t give up on me.” This whole ordeal and me constantly thinking and wondering about you has just left me feeling even less hopeful than I did when I started, abandoned, confused, hurt, sad, and tired. Emotionally, mentally, and just eternally... tired.
I guess this is all my fault for falling for the “maybe, just maybe” theories again.
And the amazing part was, I really did want to just forgive you and be happy again. I remember being a whole different person when I was with you and life was just really good. Now, the condo my Mom lives in is being bought out from under her, and my Dad is about to sell the house I’ve lived in my whole life. Work is ridiculous and I just feel,
you know I sat there staring at the screen trying to find a word, but I can’t even create or conger up something to describe how I feel.
I don’t know if what you said, was real. At this point I don’t believe anything was real. But I really did like you, or love you...
Remember when I was whining “ugh you’ve made me a softie” and so on? I never say it out loud, but when I open up like I did, I am really panicking on the inside, because I know I am my most vulnerable and I’m going to get hurt, and when I do, I will be the least prepared for it.
I was right and wrong about you.
I know I said I’m done with you, and I know I’ve said “THIS TIME I MEAN IT” but.....reality is I’m never going to be “done” with you. Your memory hurts, and I don’t forget getting hurt.
I’m really tired of this back and forth, and I just give up. Please [name], don’t respond to this. That’s not some reverse phycology thing, I mean it. Don’t hurt me anymore, just let me make you a memory and end it all.
I’m not angry anymore, I’m just...... tired.
~Greg M. [last name]
qTech Technical Assistance President
Sprint Sales Representative
========================================
*Sent using Windows Live Mail 2012 Client*
SwooshyCueb
~swooshycueb
*hugs*
