FA+
Shop
Days I'd like to forget.
13 years ago
General
*points at self* A gay furry and proud of it!
Hey guys, I know I'm not that social on this site but I have to vet somewhere besides my mate...I just don't want him worrying.
A few people on this site know I'm in the military and some even know how hard it is to keep a civilian life while you have a military life you have to worry about. Recently I was deployed to Afghanistan and currently in country and I just need to vent about some of the things I've seen and what's going on here. If anyone can give me some advice about how to take care of a few of my issues id like the advice.
First, I'm in a route clearance company. For those that don't know about that basically my company's job is to find bombs on the road and take care of them. I'm one of the mechanics that roll out the wire to help them when they get blown up. so far since I have been here in Afghanistan I've gone on 3 missions. My first one was the most "exciting" for me. A couple dead bodies, 3 explosions, 2 recoveries, small arms fire, and animals on the side of the road that had been blown up. Needless to say it was an awakening for me. To see that within a week of being in Afghanistan was ill be honest, it scares me. My second mission we had some guys rollover a vehicle and 2 were injured but just small stuff.
And know my last mission I saw a kid waving at us while we were driving by and he ran after us, one of the gunners threw him some food and the kid caught it but landed in a ditch and detonated a 20lbs IED...the gunner is in mental health cause he blames himself for the kids death. I'm just worried for my battles (fellow soldiers) and hope we all make it back safe.
Second, I miss my sister and my boyfriend. I don't want to worry my mate with all of this so I tell him only part of what goes on here but I keep thinking what could happen while I'm gone. we had a small problem while I was in transit to Afghanistan where he came to see me before I left and then he stopped by one of his friends house to say hello...he told me he still loved her and that he wanted to stay there instead of going home because he doesn't like our roommate. I honestly don't either because he puts to much of a strain on our relationship. but the thing I was worried about was the fact that because of our roommate my mate isn't happy at home and wanted to stay with someone else that he loved. I might just be over reacting but it worries me. My mate is having trouble with said roommate and wants to move out so he can get away from the douche and go to college and advance his life.
Third, when I was in training for Deployment I learned that my 12 years old sister had been cutting herself since she was 11 because of the shit our mom put us through and know is currently in a mental hospital so she can get help.
Fourth, a couple of guys in my unit know that I'm gay and tell me that if I need to talk to someone they will be there but I don't want to make them uncomfortable or freak them out with my problems. Also I want to come out to the rest of my platoon but I know a few would treat me like the plague and one that will defiantly try to get me in trouble for being the way I am cause he is so homophobic. I'm just tired of the gay slurs and jokes. Not saying I don't have a thick skin. I just gets old ya know.
Fifth, I know I said I missed my mate but I think my loneliness is what is causing some of my issues. I talk to him twice a week if I can and my mom, and dad but when they don't pick up I just have to try later that week cause we have designated call times and limited time we can stay on.
This are the thoughts that are weighing down on my shoulders the most atm and no one seems to have anything useful to say about any of the problems.
I'm not a guy that whines and complains about every little thing that happens, or a whiney femboy. (no offense to anyone that is a femboy), I'm just having a tough time with my first deployment and need some advice and someone to talk to. I think im slipping into a depressive state but its to early to tell. I'm trying to stay happy and look on the bright side but when you've seen shit like kids blown up its kinda hard to do that. I just need some help. If anyone can help I'd appreciate it.
A few people on this site know I'm in the military and some even know how hard it is to keep a civilian life while you have a military life you have to worry about. Recently I was deployed to Afghanistan and currently in country and I just need to vent about some of the things I've seen and what's going on here. If anyone can give me some advice about how to take care of a few of my issues id like the advice.
First, I'm in a route clearance company. For those that don't know about that basically my company's job is to find bombs on the road and take care of them. I'm one of the mechanics that roll out the wire to help them when they get blown up. so far since I have been here in Afghanistan I've gone on 3 missions. My first one was the most "exciting" for me. A couple dead bodies, 3 explosions, 2 recoveries, small arms fire, and animals on the side of the road that had been blown up. Needless to say it was an awakening for me. To see that within a week of being in Afghanistan was ill be honest, it scares me. My second mission we had some guys rollover a vehicle and 2 were injured but just small stuff.
And know my last mission I saw a kid waving at us while we were driving by and he ran after us, one of the gunners threw him some food and the kid caught it but landed in a ditch and detonated a 20lbs IED...the gunner is in mental health cause he blames himself for the kids death. I'm just worried for my battles (fellow soldiers) and hope we all make it back safe.
Second, I miss my sister and my boyfriend. I don't want to worry my mate with all of this so I tell him only part of what goes on here but I keep thinking what could happen while I'm gone. we had a small problem while I was in transit to Afghanistan where he came to see me before I left and then he stopped by one of his friends house to say hello...he told me he still loved her and that he wanted to stay there instead of going home because he doesn't like our roommate. I honestly don't either because he puts to much of a strain on our relationship. but the thing I was worried about was the fact that because of our roommate my mate isn't happy at home and wanted to stay with someone else that he loved. I might just be over reacting but it worries me. My mate is having trouble with said roommate and wants to move out so he can get away from the douche and go to college and advance his life.
Third, when I was in training for Deployment I learned that my 12 years old sister had been cutting herself since she was 11 because of the shit our mom put us through and know is currently in a mental hospital so she can get help.
Fourth, a couple of guys in my unit know that I'm gay and tell me that if I need to talk to someone they will be there but I don't want to make them uncomfortable or freak them out with my problems. Also I want to come out to the rest of my platoon but I know a few would treat me like the plague and one that will defiantly try to get me in trouble for being the way I am cause he is so homophobic. I'm just tired of the gay slurs and jokes. Not saying I don't have a thick skin. I just gets old ya know.
Fifth, I know I said I missed my mate but I think my loneliness is what is causing some of my issues. I talk to him twice a week if I can and my mom, and dad but when they don't pick up I just have to try later that week cause we have designated call times and limited time we can stay on.
This are the thoughts that are weighing down on my shoulders the most atm and no one seems to have anything useful to say about any of the problems.
I'm not a guy that whines and complains about every little thing that happens, or a whiney femboy. (no offense to anyone that is a femboy), I'm just having a tough time with my first deployment and need some advice and someone to talk to. I think im slipping into a depressive state but its to early to tell. I'm trying to stay happy and look on the bright side but when you've seen shit like kids blown up its kinda hard to do that. I just need some help. If anyone can help I'd appreciate it.
Please keep being strong, you have our support.