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Reflection
12 years ago
I moved out to California about four years ago. Didn't know anyone out here, and moved away from everyone I had ever known. Four years later, I have more friends than I ever had back home. I'm not sure if it's because there are more furs out here, or that I just got lucky to meet a group of friends that are close and personable, or if it was by necessity to make myself fit in since everyone I knew was six hours plane flight away.
I started out with a single friend, that then turned into another, and before I realized, I was part of a much larger group. I don't know if this particular group of friends is better than any I had back home, but I'd really like to think they are. I never really fit in with the group at home... always something not quite right... and it reminded me of high school. I could fit in with about any crowd, but never felt like I really belonged. This group is different. Unfortunately, we recently lost someone. But to see how everyone came together, supported each other, it was a good feeling, one of support, and one that I feel comfortable supporting and asking for support from when I need it.
In the past couple years, I have changed a little bit too. I discovered my real fursona which was a much larger step than I had realized. Originally, I had thought wolf. But it never really felt truly a part of me. I'm not for sure the day it really clicked, but I started to realize my affinity for felines, specifically spotty ones. Snow leopards, leopards, jaguars, servals... cheetahs. A few pointers in odd places, such as when I was feeling down about the human race's bigotry, hatred, and violence, I would find that those golden eyes with that black tear streak and spotted muzzle always could make me forget about it. More than that, when I saw those pictures, I felt a bond, like I was one of them. But the most telltale sign, odd as it may sound, is whenever I visit cheetah exhibits at a zoo, I can always seem to grab their attention, just by standing there and watching them, their eyes connect with mine, as if they know, and hopefully, accept.
I'd say being a part of this local group of friends has allowed me to develop and accept myself, which has led to some pretty wonderful experiences. This is home now, and where I came from... that is just a part of my past.
I started out with a single friend, that then turned into another, and before I realized, I was part of a much larger group. I don't know if this particular group of friends is better than any I had back home, but I'd really like to think they are. I never really fit in with the group at home... always something not quite right... and it reminded me of high school. I could fit in with about any crowd, but never felt like I really belonged. This group is different. Unfortunately, we recently lost someone. But to see how everyone came together, supported each other, it was a good feeling, one of support, and one that I feel comfortable supporting and asking for support from when I need it.
In the past couple years, I have changed a little bit too. I discovered my real fursona which was a much larger step than I had realized. Originally, I had thought wolf. But it never really felt truly a part of me. I'm not for sure the day it really clicked, but I started to realize my affinity for felines, specifically spotty ones. Snow leopards, leopards, jaguars, servals... cheetahs. A few pointers in odd places, such as when I was feeling down about the human race's bigotry, hatred, and violence, I would find that those golden eyes with that black tear streak and spotted muzzle always could make me forget about it. More than that, when I saw those pictures, I felt a bond, like I was one of them. But the most telltale sign, odd as it may sound, is whenever I visit cheetah exhibits at a zoo, I can always seem to grab their attention, just by standing there and watching them, their eyes connect with mine, as if they know, and hopefully, accept.
I'd say being a part of this local group of friends has allowed me to develop and accept myself, which has led to some pretty wonderful experiences. This is home now, and where I came from... that is just a part of my past.
Isn't it great to look back and see how much path you've walked and how big of an imprint you left in your tracks? it only gets better from here buddy.
~ CHEERS ~