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Help. Something to fear?
13 years ago
From the Desk of Jack the Gorilla....
Well, I'm in need of advice right now.
It's a long involved story spanning a decade of my life. Hmmm, how to condense it?
I guess it comes down to this; someone I used to know is back in town. This person is also someone I've come to fear. A friend of mine, knowing this interjected and mentioned that I was feeling uncomfortable and prompted this guy to contact me. He offered to buy me dinner as a peace offering.
I'd like to think that I'm mature enough to bury the hatchet and put the past behind me, but every instinct that I have is screaming at me to avoid this. I have a little bit of fear, but a whole lot of pain from the past.
(As for my friend, he said he was netural. As I told him, he smoked his neutrality the moment he got involved.)
He's invited me to partake in some other activities, but I'm going to abstain. I really am going to have to work on my tact. I'm just dreading this dinner.
Anyone with similar experiences/coping ideas?
It's a long involved story spanning a decade of my life. Hmmm, how to condense it?
I guess it comes down to this; someone I used to know is back in town. This person is also someone I've come to fear. A friend of mine, knowing this interjected and mentioned that I was feeling uncomfortable and prompted this guy to contact me. He offered to buy me dinner as a peace offering.
I'd like to think that I'm mature enough to bury the hatchet and put the past behind me, but every instinct that I have is screaming at me to avoid this. I have a little bit of fear, but a whole lot of pain from the past.
(As for my friend, he said he was netural. As I told him, he smoked his neutrality the moment he got involved.)
He's invited me to partake in some other activities, but I'm going to abstain. I really am going to have to work on my tact. I'm just dreading this dinner.
Anyone with similar experiences/coping ideas?
Your friend really should've kept their mouth shut considering they knew why you were uncomfortable; it just wasn't their place to say anything.
In my experience, I would politely decline the dinner, but give the friend the benefit of the doubt. People make mistakes and he may have forgotten that you and this other person don't get along. I don't believe people are inherently malicious, but I do believe that they have several lapses in observations and judgments that can be perceived as intentional. He may have wanted to try to help. Try to explain to your friend that that bridge has been burned and there's no way to repair it. Try to remain calm and explain the situation and try to get him to relate by asking how he would feel if those things happened to him.
You can continue avoiding that person, but I would just cut your friend a little slack. It's not like this has happened all that often. He probably either forgot your dislike of the person or had no idea of the scope of the dislike.