I will listen to it tonight. Off to work now. Hope all is well. Bugs Hugs.

Coolness. Celebrate the move with some sunflower seeds and a lava lamp or two.

i think not wanting to be still vlogging when you're new s.o. gets there doesn't seem like a very good sign to me. hopefully i'm misreading it.
at any rate happy hugs and congrats on change of scene and getting a whole house.
i just don't think its wise to be that dependent upon nor expect that much, of personal relationships.
even if that seems to not be a popular perspective.

Sorry but.... not sure I understand what you mean?

Oh, I'm not dependent on him, I use to be that way with guys, thinking I needed one to be happy and all.... but my perspective has changed quite a bit over the past year.

yah, that's what i was thinking. you know, the rebound thing. i mean its always good to have someone to hug too.

at the beginning of a relationship its always "wow, someone wants to be with me too", and then life goes on and you get to know each other a little better and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

and of course all, or most of us, want to believe that it will. but its always a roll of the dice. and i think people tend to expect more then is reasonable of each other, and its because of the culture we live in that people do.

two people can both be perfectly wonderful and still not work out. it happens.

my parents stayed together all of their lives, partly because that was how many people did then, and partially i'm sure, out of insecurity about finding anyone else, but also, and they were always complaining to me about each other and frequently had loud verbal disagreements, but mostly, i'm almost positive, because both of their families, insisted they never possibly could, so they felt obliged they had to prove them wrong by doing so.

my mother's family were polish american jews from the lower east side of nyc in the 1920s when that was the jewish neighborhood, and my dad's family were decendents of the german mercinaries that fought for the british against the french and native americans even before there was an america, from upstate new york and massichisits.

i don't think either of them were as happy as they might have each been with different partners, but of course, not being them, this is impossible to judge, they just didn't act like they were.

so all i'm saying is of course anything is possible, and people, even more now then at other times, expect 'more' of each other, and have so much emotional dissapointment, when things sometimes don't work out. i remember times too, being totally crushed myself, when a relationship didn't work out.

i still like people. i love people. but i've found i don't have to have someone to be with all the time to be happy.
different people are different ways, and i guess i'm a bit less usual, to enjoy what i do, without, you know, things about other people always having to be first.

I was concerned people would assume this is a rebound thing, however after what happened with Ross I had no intention of getting involved with anyone for a good long while (if ever again) and wanted to focus on myself mainly... When Aaron asked me out, I almost said no but then he was normal, and seemed nice and had other attributes that are rather rare, especially around these parts so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The rebound thing is very high school and I have been guilty of it in the past (how I ended up in some of my worst relationships.) The last thing you want to do when experiencing a traumatic break up, is start looking for a replacement. Aaron is not a replacement by any means. I took a chance, and so far I'm very glad I did. I'd be just as happy with or without someone, and even before him I was doing just fine.

If there's anything I've learned from past relationships, (including the prior) it's not expect too much out of a relationship (or really anything in life and not too quickly) just have fun and enjoy each other's company and don't put too much pressure on things. My whole outlook on life these days, has been very go with the flow, don't make anymore long term plans, I'm not even that obsessed with the idea with marriage as I use to be.... with all I've been through I just want to focus on enjoying what's left of life and not stress over every little thing, hence I've been much happier since. Finding a guy like Aaron, is a bonus and I have plenty of great things going for me besides.... once more, I have moving into my own place to look forward to! Allot of hard work and perseverance got me to this point, which is a rewarding feeling. If anyone asks you what the most effective drug is, it's accomplishment! :)