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Dealing with stalkers
12 years ago
Amongst the things to happen in my life recently with family and friends. Things are starting to get bad with... of course. Stalkers. The stalkers are getting worse. Finding ways to annoy me, giving off multiple threats, and now many of them, not the one from tonight, but a few are threatening to find me rl. This kind of shit is simply unacceptable. Here are a few snippits.
RE:
Sent By: XXXXXX to thellos On: February 20th, 2013 10:54
Last chance to try and be civil.
I gave you an out. It may not be the one YOU want but it's still a route to what you want.
If you don't take it you will regret it for a very, very long time. I advise you take the opportunity offered to avoid that.
Sent By: XXXXXXX to thellos On: February 20th, 2013 11:03
Absolute last chance, after this note. One more chance than you deserve but I'm offering it anyway because I sincerely want the best ending for this situation.
Not accepting this proposal will be considered a direct personal attack more grievious than any I've made on you and it will affect every aspect of your online life for years to come.
Be smart about this. One more conversation and you can end it for good. It doesn't have to be this way. Just one more conversation, man.
Really. Take the offer. You will be happier doing so. I promise I will do what you want if you accept it.
Sent By: XXXXXX to thellos On: February 20th, 2013 11:13
No, really.
I can't stress the logic behind that last note you're failing to comprehend.
I'm literally offering an easy and relatively painless way to get exactly what you want out of me at the cost of a few moments of your time.
You're throwing away a free Ferrari in favor of a cancer diagnosis. You're turning down a chance to get free pudding for life in favor of having your legs amputated.
You have a way to make yourself happy permanently, and not just briefly before I act on the alternative behavior I promised. As an empathetic human being speaking to another, please, act on this opportunity. You will only regret what comes of not doing it.
Then, again. Reap what you sow. I cannot be held accountable for the actions of someone unwilling to try and attempt to act a civilized person even if it means getting their way.
RE:
Sent By: XXXXXX to thellos On: February 20th, 2013 10:49
You can try and stop me.
But you'll fail.
It is simply getting rediculous. This is just TODAY. Not the last few weeks at all. Not to mention they are bugging and harassing those close to me, multiple people are and thats what starts to piss me off. This journal has been made mostly to vent. But I want people to know WHY I am so reluctant to talk to people, being around others, or go outside of my trusted circle much at all. This sort of stuff happens constantly and it seems to be no end to it. I hope people can understand why I am so evasive or hesitant to talk to other people. ABout 1 and every 4 people turn to this sort of behavior if I turn them down for type fucking, do not pay enough attention to them while I am playing a game, or I am type fucking someone else or simply just NOT with them.
RE:
Sent By: XXXXXX to thellos On: February 20th, 2013 10:54
Last chance to try and be civil.
I gave you an out. It may not be the one YOU want but it's still a route to what you want.
If you don't take it you will regret it for a very, very long time. I advise you take the opportunity offered to avoid that.
Sent By: XXXXXXX to thellos On: February 20th, 2013 11:03
Absolute last chance, after this note. One more chance than you deserve but I'm offering it anyway because I sincerely want the best ending for this situation.
Not accepting this proposal will be considered a direct personal attack more grievious than any I've made on you and it will affect every aspect of your online life for years to come.
Be smart about this. One more conversation and you can end it for good. It doesn't have to be this way. Just one more conversation, man.
Really. Take the offer. You will be happier doing so. I promise I will do what you want if you accept it.
Sent By: XXXXXX to thellos On: February 20th, 2013 11:13
No, really.
I can't stress the logic behind that last note you're failing to comprehend.
I'm literally offering an easy and relatively painless way to get exactly what you want out of me at the cost of a few moments of your time.
You're throwing away a free Ferrari in favor of a cancer diagnosis. You're turning down a chance to get free pudding for life in favor of having your legs amputated.
You have a way to make yourself happy permanently, and not just briefly before I act on the alternative behavior I promised. As an empathetic human being speaking to another, please, act on this opportunity. You will only regret what comes of not doing it.
Then, again. Reap what you sow. I cannot be held accountable for the actions of someone unwilling to try and attempt to act a civilized person even if it means getting their way.
RE:
Sent By: XXXXXX to thellos On: February 20th, 2013 10:49
You can try and stop me.
But you'll fail.
It is simply getting rediculous. This is just TODAY. Not the last few weeks at all. Not to mention they are bugging and harassing those close to me, multiple people are and thats what starts to piss me off. This journal has been made mostly to vent. But I want people to know WHY I am so reluctant to talk to people, being around others, or go outside of my trusted circle much at all. This sort of stuff happens constantly and it seems to be no end to it. I hope people can understand why I am so evasive or hesitant to talk to other people. ABout 1 and every 4 people turn to this sort of behavior if I turn them down for type fucking, do not pay enough attention to them while I am playing a game, or I am type fucking someone else or simply just NOT with them.
Every single ex ever. People suck.
Wish I could fix it all for you.
...People actually get this crazy over not being typefucked?
...Seriously...?
I...I can't even...What.
I do appreciate the fact that you're paying attention to me in your own fucked up little self-pitying way, though. "Stalker" is quite an easily damnable word these days.
Also, posting private messages in public as a rallying call for complete strangers who see you as a figure of pornographic exploitation to comfort you with emotionally disassociated and banal words of comfort isn't gonna make you feel any better further down the road when things start going south. At least that's the thinking of a logical human being.
And they make an alt account and now are going on about it.
*hugs* I hope things work out for you, sweetie. I've missed speaking with you, but you're always welcome to drop me a line if you want someone to talk to.
I get messages now and then and I just ignore them if they are creepy and only reason they want to talk is to grope something online.
Well, if you wanna talk, I've a sympathetic ear.
Ive seen ye on SL several times, and was tempted to say Hi, but didnt think youd appreciate a random Ninetales dropping ye an IM or somethin. I figured, if youd wanted to talk to me, youd say Hi yourself. Im not an important artist or anything, dont do commissions. I am just one of those that has to rely on freebies and such that artists will do, or friends might do. Sorry for ramblin. But anyways, point is, people are generally stupid or assholes. If not a combination of the two. Just look at the current US president for a prime example of the combination.
But seriously, it's better to be cautious than to be completely carefree anyway. Keep rocking out the way you do. :3
I think the senders of both types of letter have the same level of respect and the same attitude towards the recipient. It is disturbing.
Seeing people who get really butthurt over me turning them down from "typefucking/cybering/Sex RPing" me is almost very enjoyable nowadays because it shows how immature some folks are and the things they try to do to get back at you that end up failing just make me laugh. "I'm gonna get your perma banned from SL!" *person gets permabanned instead for harassing me and others* LOL
Had to block one person for harassing me already. On SL, I've muted TONS of folks. Apparently people can't separate the online world from the real one anymore.
And then I would block/avoid/ignore them. Because they blew it. And they need to know they blew it.
Nobody should feel entitled to your goods and personal favor. Don't let them feel like they are; that's the source of the hate, flame and anger: They aren't getting what they feel they are rightfully due to you and they are angry for you not making them feel good and important. That's all. So where is that your problem?
So fuck their opinion. :3 ...Figuratively, because they'd like it if you did so literally!
These funbits run on respect.
Honestly, I feel bad for this person. To be so blissfully unaware of the feelings of others, to carry on mindless or uncaring of the damage your narcissistic behavior is having on someone else, just speaks to large volumes of damage, most likely from an abusive home life or absent father figure. I'm sure eventually there is a breakdown in this individual's future where they will realize the utter cesspool their life has become, I just hope it does not end with the coward's route of taking their own life. Hopefully they will seek the professional help they so clearly need, and their downward spiral can be halted before it causes irrevocable personal damage. Maybe once they get out of K-12 schooling and into the real world someone will tug them up short and force them to examine their own twisted psyche.
As for you, Thellos my sweet snuggly darling, if you ever need a shoulder, send me a note and I will get you my personal contact info. Always here for you, love, I'm a great listener and you're a wonderful person.
On serious note, hope everything is ok and works out.
No, really, I can't.... I can't make heads or tails of how someone can act that way. Are they so narrow as to practically back you into a corner just so they can wag their ass up into your face? Can they not comprehend the fact that who you spend your time with and what you do with your time and desires is YOUR business and *NOT* theirs? I mean, when I message you most of the time, I just typically try to see how you're doing, or see if you wanna hang out or something. If you do, great. If not, that's completely your choice to make, and nothing that can be said or done can change your mind forcefully. But for someone to forcefully try to direct you into something, applying peer pressure like I've not seen in a long time since my middle school years (lots of druggies, where I had come from), and bullying just to get what they want or else they try to blackmail or threaten you for declining?
I'm sorry... but... while free pudding for life sounds good, in their case it looks like a heap of shit-flavored pudding, courtesy of the unwashed public bathroom toilet.
Just me musing here, but it's probably also the content of your favorites and submissions that attracts these people for one reason or another. They probably think that by somehow forcing themselves into your circle of friends that they'll be able to get free art, or be able to commission things that have content some artists don't offer anyone else. And of course the harder they push, the... weirder... their attempts to do so become. "I'm not saying they're being furries, but they're being furries".
And jesus reading what they write is painful to boot, what a fucking stuck up their own ass pseudo-intellectual. They're trying really hard to sound erudite and civil but it's obvious they're a spoiled brat with an inferiority complex that they're trying to mask with purple prose and posturing.
Best of luck to you man. What this person is doing to you is awful, and you're completely in your rights in publishing these threatening notes.
What the hell is wrong with people. That's horrifying.
All they are to you are words on a screen. You have GOT to take control of your perception of the capabilities of these people. They are, quite often, paper tigers who hype up their ability to affect you.
If they go after your friends online, tell them the same thing and they should understand. The online social network and web of popularity is a fickle thing and a little apathy goes a long way.
If they try (and succeed) in finding you iRL, sending you mail or whatever and stupidly revealing themselves and their own RL information you can use to do so, notify the local authorities, because at that point it becomes their issue to aid you just as it would be if you'd had some neighbor or whatever causing you problems.
And of course, as they are PMing you on FurAffinity: Block them in your FA options so they can't message you anymore, tell the Admins. And if the admins balk and/or say it's not an issue, well, this issue has set the precedent which means 'Actually it fscking well is an issue, do something please'. :)
As someone who has been threatened (physically) in person by an ex years ago, I can empathize with the feeling of being harried, harrassed, even perhaps stalked. But what you basically should do is try not to feel as if they actually are breathing down your neck. All they can do from their end of the computer screen most of the time is poke at you with words in mailings and try to tell your friends things. That's high school BS and about as pathetic when you put it into perspective.
Take control. Once it's in perspective, that paper tiger gets revealed for what it truly is, and you can just squish it (or ignore it) as you see fit. You've no reason to bend to someone so pathetic as to try to ultimatum you into obligations when they've got nothing you want and you hold no debt to them. :)
Hope that helps.
Though I suppose with this new age finding someone is a hell of a lot easier than it used to be. You don't need extensive research or anything of the sort. No...just google them and BAM!
Still, it would seem that stalking has become a pastime for people and the internet just makes the whole thing easier. No real good way to deal with stalkers because if you ignore them they will keep trying to get your attention if you give them your attention then the'll never stop. More or less a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. I wish you the best of luck with that.
I have a name I wouldn't consider very common, and yet there are three other people (at least) in the United States with the same exact name that pops up in Google, only a different middle name. Furries who don't append their specific RL details and locations to cross-reference things still don't have much issue staying unfound.
Which still relegates the angry to being kids on the other side of a screen with..well, broadband now, but still that's it. *nod!*
I never found fun in the "find out where I live" game because if makes no sense to find out where someone lives and threaten them with it. Well, unless you're someone who likes sending Pizzas to peoples' houses, and even then it's a profound waste of time.
2) Contact admin via a trouble ticket, as this is happening on FA it can easily be dealt with. Provide them with all the notes, inform them that you blocked him and is circumventing the block to continue to harass you (which is against the TOS).
3) Be done with it, don't bring it up in public again cause that's what the troll wants. Be sure you've not posted any personal information about where you live and take appropriate steps to protect said personal information in the future.
4) Done.
this is your last chance!!!!
no this is!!!
no... um... this is!!!!
realy now... this is your last......!!!!
LOL...... could this person be anymore full of shit?
Stalking present participle of stalk (Verb)
Pursue or approach stealthily
Harass or persecute (someone) with unwanted and obsessive attention
Definition 2. Exactly what they're doing to you. By definition, they are stalkers. If they find you RL, you can actually sue the fuck out of them legally. I wish you luck in purging these people from your life.
Stalkers will stalk.
Anonymity, furry and Internet when combined are your only friends. Get acquainted with them all, and mix them as you need.
As for this creampuff sack of sorry? Forget him. They tailspin and burn themselves out eventually. He does not deserve explanations or conscious thought. Never explain yourself or justify your means/actions to an "enemy" - they will use it against you. And your real friends will never require either from you. Savvy? Carry on. Or in your case, Drag-on.