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Morning Musings: 2013-02-23
12 years ago
Meditation is a wonderful mental hygiene. The gentle defragmentation of mental processes…it feels as though it could be comparable to the importance of sleep. The thoughts and feelings it inspires…letting my thoughts flow like a river and make associations….build bridges to other thoughts and build those thoughts up to be better by the reinforcing by those same bridges. They build further, stronger foundation. They clear so much fog. It really is an essential thing so many people ignore. You can do so much with it. Not only clear this fog, build stronger mental…ness….but you can do almost anything you want with it. Create a safe place of acceptance inside yourself, reach inward, evaluate…assess your reason and emotion juxtaposed with each other, compartmentalize, be objective…
But the thought I kept ignoring while writing this was that I don’t want to write about meditation. I want to write from within. I see so much beauty and accidentally express it sometimes. I want to cultivate it. It is something in me that I want to harness. I want control over my raw talents. The things with which I have raw facility should be not mere, blunt talents, but sharpened into fine tools to be wielded with skill. I want to be better. Every day. I want to be better for the sake of everyone around me. To be less of a burden. To have less reason to hate myself. I already have little enough reason…but truly letting go of it, to wash away the scars to the point that they are invisible, if still there…it feels like I need to reach a truer potential to do so. To be proud of myself…
…imbalance. The asymmetry in my priorities is my problem to a large extent. I focus so much on certain aspects of betterment that are more immediately internalized. But bad habits that are also naturally present and cyclical must be cut off so that I can shift the pendulum. My shitty habits of spending money and so forth, for example. I need to take better care of my body. To listen to my aches, pains, my muscles telling me they aren’t worked enough, my back telling me to straighten my posture…so many little things can accumulate into big changes while some seemingly big issues require as little as a shift in perspective to immediately ameliorate the behavior until that can blossom into habit and solidify as a new lifestyle. The first step is so often the hardest because it is blind…but the rest is merely following the steps on up to the conclusion of one’s goal being met by repetition.
Be cognizant of that step, take it, make it habit…and find your love for yourself…and your happiness in adapting actively to the world…every day. Change.
But the thought I kept ignoring while writing this was that I don’t want to write about meditation. I want to write from within. I see so much beauty and accidentally express it sometimes. I want to cultivate it. It is something in me that I want to harness. I want control over my raw talents. The things with which I have raw facility should be not mere, blunt talents, but sharpened into fine tools to be wielded with skill. I want to be better. Every day. I want to be better for the sake of everyone around me. To be less of a burden. To have less reason to hate myself. I already have little enough reason…but truly letting go of it, to wash away the scars to the point that they are invisible, if still there…it feels like I need to reach a truer potential to do so. To be proud of myself…
…imbalance. The asymmetry in my priorities is my problem to a large extent. I focus so much on certain aspects of betterment that are more immediately internalized. But bad habits that are also naturally present and cyclical must be cut off so that I can shift the pendulum. My shitty habits of spending money and so forth, for example. I need to take better care of my body. To listen to my aches, pains, my muscles telling me they aren’t worked enough, my back telling me to straighten my posture…so many little things can accumulate into big changes while some seemingly big issues require as little as a shift in perspective to immediately ameliorate the behavior until that can blossom into habit and solidify as a new lifestyle. The first step is so often the hardest because it is blind…but the rest is merely following the steps on up to the conclusion of one’s goal being met by repetition.
Be cognizant of that step, take it, make it habit…and find your love for yourself…and your happiness in adapting actively to the world…every day. Change.
