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Doeface's Reality of Women, Page 1
12 years ago
Here is the reality of women: EMOTIONS!
Reality #1: Women are indirect. For example, we take things to a whole new level of subtle. When we like you, we don't tell you. Why? Because we can't. It's just impossible. We fear rejection as much as you do. When we want you to do something, we won't tell it to you. Instead, try looking at body language.
-Upset: A lot of times women will look away from you, their body will go rigid, and their head will drop. They have the tendency to wear puppy dog eyes, and you can always tell if their stifling tears if they find ways to hide behind their hair.
*How to React*: Measure your options carefully. If you've upset your girl, it may be best to directly apologize and try to talk it over. While we are indirect, direct men can often times make it easier to get what they want. Try wrapping your arms around her, assuming she isn't clawing your face off, and hold her for a minute. Then whisper to her your apology.
!But What If!: What if your right and she's wrong? Dude. Who cares. She's crying. For one, women hate being proved wrong. Trying to dominate your point while she's this upset is just going to get you in the doghouse. Yeah, it happens. She gets away with it. That's what women do. Because if we don't get away with it, there is a good chance you will suffer.
^She clawed my face off!^: Then your girl must not be ready to forgive you. If this happens, don't get mad! Whatever you do, DO NOT GET MAD! Instead, turn around, leave the room, and let her run to her girlfriends for a while. If you've got money, take the time to get her something she likes. Don't give it to her directly. Get her the favorite thing, whether it be food, gift cards, even a rose with a card attached, and leave it in an indirect but visible area. (Kitchen Table, good example). Always get a small folded piece of paper, or a card, and write on it: "I'm sorry. I love you." or something related to that. The next day or next time you interact with her, smile. Just smile. Your on your own from that point.
-Angry: These will be fairly apparent. You can tell due to the drooped eyebrows, the firmly sealed lips, and the evil stare. There is also a word amongst women that is used to assume a variety of negative things. "Fine" or also known as "Okay." When a woman uses fine, assume the worst. When a woman uses Okay, the worst is already there.
*How To React*: When you've crossed the line where your woman is mad, the best idea is to go quiet. Why? Because when we're mad, we have venom glands in our mouths that foam up and get ready to spit in the form of emotionally puncturing and spiteful words. A lot of times these words will be related to your sexual performance, so just avoid it. After a while, she may say something like "WELL!?" or hint that she wants you to explain yourself. This is dangerous territory. Instead, just apologize, but don't expect her to get over it soon.
!But What If!: She doesn't get over it soon? Wait longer. Don't ask her for food, or sex, or anything. Why? Because we don't think rationally when we are angry. We are spiteful beings manifested with alluring properties like tits and vaginas. You ask us for sex? There is a good chance you won't even get a handjob, or you'll get a bad one. You ask her for food? She'll most likely half ass it, if you don't get a "Do it yourself" first.
~What the hell do I do now?~: Wait it out. Going out with your friends may anger her more, so the best idea is to turn on some TV and wait it out at home. Eventually, she'll come around. Then again, there isn't anything that can't be solved with Chocolate. However, I would suggest waiting until "Angry" turns into "Upset", because upset women are more easier to handle then angry women.
-Horny: On to the fun stuff! Yes. Women do get aroused. Some women its harder then others, but that doesn't mean we don't crave the romance that comes before hand. However there are a lot of women that are easily aroused, and just as afraid to ask for it. This is where its your chance to be subtle or aggressive. Know how your girl likes it, for one. If you don't know, experiment. We can't tell you, it just happens. The visual signs for this are usually, shifting of the legs, stretching with really soft moans, wriggling, and glancing. When I say glancing, I mean either at your groin, or your face. A woman will also do 'I want a kiss' visuals. Licking her lips, sometimes playing with her hair, or inching closer to your face.
*How to React*: Sometimes these signs can be mistaken for other things, so be just about as subtle as she is. For example, wrap your arm around her shoulder and squeeze her to you. If she's been doing the 'I want a kiss', lean in halfway. Something really cute to try is rubbing your nose against hers, this is a sneaky way of offering a kiss, and being adorable at the same time. Women go for adorable. After a kiss is initiated, do not make it a full-blown make-out. Instead, kiss her and pull away. Smile like you are teasing. After teasing her, she might get frustrated. This can be turned in your favor. Romantic frustration is easily converted into sexual frustration. Place your hand on her thigh, if she isn't already on top of you, rest your forehead against her neck or shoulder, and cuddle her while squeezing tenderly on her inner thigh.
!But What If!: She wasn't horny? That's okay. You've at least put your foot in the door that you want some, and sometimes that's enough to arouse a woman. If this is your first time with her, stop here and move on to the next. If you've had sex with her before, and you're close, please continue. If she honestly doesn't seem interested, start masturbating in front of her. She'll either join in or leave the room. Though this seems rather blatant, chemically the flesh around your genitalia will release pheromones. Pheromones naturally release hormones in the body to make both men and women want to breed.
#Quick Question!#: Where is the G-spot you ask? Well, there is a theory that for some women the G-spot doesn't exist. This is true. For women, there is a train of nerves which peak at the clitoris, and head into the body. It weaves around the urethra and into the sexual nervous system. The G-spot is where a spongy membrane is next to the vaginal wall. The nerves will sometimes dodge this membrane completely, and sometimes it'll overfill the membrane. It depends on the women. Sometimes this system of sexual nerves will even travel as far as the rectal area. Theoretically, the G-spot is located an inch to two inches past the vaginal opening, and is on the front. By the front, I mean where her belly is. Think of it this way, angle towards her belly button.
#Quick Question! 2#: Why doesn't your girl squirt? This is a very delicate question. "Why is it my girl doesn't squirt, but my buddy says his girl squirts all the time?" For one, women will often hold it in because it feels like urine. You see, when the spongy membrane 'g spot' is stimulated, there is usually a fluid that is produced which retreats into the urethra. This is why women hold it. It feels like urine is starting to leak. Though it may smell similar, the fluid is usually off-white or clear in color. However, some women understand that it isn't, and therefore let it happen. Guys, don't worry. It may be coming out of the urethra, but its not urine. Usually the bladder will 'close' or tighten its opening during intercourse in nature's way of keeping us from peeing on eachother.
Reality #1: Women are indirect. For example, we take things to a whole new level of subtle. When we like you, we don't tell you. Why? Because we can't. It's just impossible. We fear rejection as much as you do. When we want you to do something, we won't tell it to you. Instead, try looking at body language.
-Upset: A lot of times women will look away from you, their body will go rigid, and their head will drop. They have the tendency to wear puppy dog eyes, and you can always tell if their stifling tears if they find ways to hide behind their hair.
*How to React*: Measure your options carefully. If you've upset your girl, it may be best to directly apologize and try to talk it over. While we are indirect, direct men can often times make it easier to get what they want. Try wrapping your arms around her, assuming she isn't clawing your face off, and hold her for a minute. Then whisper to her your apology.
!But What If!: What if your right and she's wrong? Dude. Who cares. She's crying. For one, women hate being proved wrong. Trying to dominate your point while she's this upset is just going to get you in the doghouse. Yeah, it happens. She gets away with it. That's what women do. Because if we don't get away with it, there is a good chance you will suffer.
^She clawed my face off!^: Then your girl must not be ready to forgive you. If this happens, don't get mad! Whatever you do, DO NOT GET MAD! Instead, turn around, leave the room, and let her run to her girlfriends for a while. If you've got money, take the time to get her something she likes. Don't give it to her directly. Get her the favorite thing, whether it be food, gift cards, even a rose with a card attached, and leave it in an indirect but visible area. (Kitchen Table, good example). Always get a small folded piece of paper, or a card, and write on it: "I'm sorry. I love you." or something related to that. The next day or next time you interact with her, smile. Just smile. Your on your own from that point.
-Angry: These will be fairly apparent. You can tell due to the drooped eyebrows, the firmly sealed lips, and the evil stare. There is also a word amongst women that is used to assume a variety of negative things. "Fine" or also known as "Okay." When a woman uses fine, assume the worst. When a woman uses Okay, the worst is already there.
*How To React*: When you've crossed the line where your woman is mad, the best idea is to go quiet. Why? Because when we're mad, we have venom glands in our mouths that foam up and get ready to spit in the form of emotionally puncturing and spiteful words. A lot of times these words will be related to your sexual performance, so just avoid it. After a while, she may say something like "WELL!?" or hint that she wants you to explain yourself. This is dangerous territory. Instead, just apologize, but don't expect her to get over it soon.
!But What If!: She doesn't get over it soon? Wait longer. Don't ask her for food, or sex, or anything. Why? Because we don't think rationally when we are angry. We are spiteful beings manifested with alluring properties like tits and vaginas. You ask us for sex? There is a good chance you won't even get a handjob, or you'll get a bad one. You ask her for food? She'll most likely half ass it, if you don't get a "Do it yourself" first.
~What the hell do I do now?~: Wait it out. Going out with your friends may anger her more, so the best idea is to turn on some TV and wait it out at home. Eventually, she'll come around. Then again, there isn't anything that can't be solved with Chocolate. However, I would suggest waiting until "Angry" turns into "Upset", because upset women are more easier to handle then angry women.
-Horny: On to the fun stuff! Yes. Women do get aroused. Some women its harder then others, but that doesn't mean we don't crave the romance that comes before hand. However there are a lot of women that are easily aroused, and just as afraid to ask for it. This is where its your chance to be subtle or aggressive. Know how your girl likes it, for one. If you don't know, experiment. We can't tell you, it just happens. The visual signs for this are usually, shifting of the legs, stretching with really soft moans, wriggling, and glancing. When I say glancing, I mean either at your groin, or your face. A woman will also do 'I want a kiss' visuals. Licking her lips, sometimes playing with her hair, or inching closer to your face.
*How to React*: Sometimes these signs can be mistaken for other things, so be just about as subtle as she is. For example, wrap your arm around her shoulder and squeeze her to you. If she's been doing the 'I want a kiss', lean in halfway. Something really cute to try is rubbing your nose against hers, this is a sneaky way of offering a kiss, and being adorable at the same time. Women go for adorable. After a kiss is initiated, do not make it a full-blown make-out. Instead, kiss her and pull away. Smile like you are teasing. After teasing her, she might get frustrated. This can be turned in your favor. Romantic frustration is easily converted into sexual frustration. Place your hand on her thigh, if she isn't already on top of you, rest your forehead against her neck or shoulder, and cuddle her while squeezing tenderly on her inner thigh.
!But What If!: She wasn't horny? That's okay. You've at least put your foot in the door that you want some, and sometimes that's enough to arouse a woman. If this is your first time with her, stop here and move on to the next. If you've had sex with her before, and you're close, please continue. If she honestly doesn't seem interested, start masturbating in front of her. She'll either join in or leave the room. Though this seems rather blatant, chemically the flesh around your genitalia will release pheromones. Pheromones naturally release hormones in the body to make both men and women want to breed.
#Quick Question!#: Where is the G-spot you ask? Well, there is a theory that for some women the G-spot doesn't exist. This is true. For women, there is a train of nerves which peak at the clitoris, and head into the body. It weaves around the urethra and into the sexual nervous system. The G-spot is where a spongy membrane is next to the vaginal wall. The nerves will sometimes dodge this membrane completely, and sometimes it'll overfill the membrane. It depends on the women. Sometimes this system of sexual nerves will even travel as far as the rectal area. Theoretically, the G-spot is located an inch to two inches past the vaginal opening, and is on the front. By the front, I mean where her belly is. Think of it this way, angle towards her belly button.
#Quick Question! 2#: Why doesn't your girl squirt? This is a very delicate question. "Why is it my girl doesn't squirt, but my buddy says his girl squirts all the time?" For one, women will often hold it in because it feels like urine. You see, when the spongy membrane 'g spot' is stimulated, there is usually a fluid that is produced which retreats into the urethra. This is why women hold it. It feels like urine is starting to leak. Though it may smell similar, the fluid is usually off-white or clear in color. However, some women understand that it isn't, and therefore let it happen. Guys, don't worry. It may be coming out of the urethra, but its not urine. Usually the bladder will 'close' or tighten its opening during intercourse in nature's way of keeping us from peeing on eachother.
blutz5
~blutz5
-furiously takes notes!- Mm, good shit this is...
Electricfox777
~electricfox777
Funny how I've already been doing some of the suggested things when I've angered my boss. Specifically the shut up and apologize thing.
Red_Loup
~redloup
The last line in this has me cracking up right now. That's funny and yet strangely interesting.
DimaRedWolf
~dimaredwolf
Swedish women aren't like this at all! DX Well except for the horny and angry part
MorbidWolfess
~morbidwolfess
OP
Thats 2/3 :P
DimaRedWolf
~dimaredwolf
Oh murr
