This is one of two pieces I have from my college days.

The Recommended Practices Committee of the International Society of Philosophical Engineers
presents:

A Compilation of Finagle's Universal Laws for Naїve Engineers


Axiom # 1: In any calculation, any error which can creep will do so.

Axiom # 2: Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm.

Axiom # 3: In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from engineering handbooks) are to
be treated as variables.

Axiom # 4: The best approximation of service conditions in the laboratory will not begin to meet
those conditions encountered in actual service.

Axiom # 5: The most vital dimension on any plan or drawing stands the greatest chance of being
omitted.

Axiom # 6: If only one bid can be secured on any project, the price will be unreasonable.

Axiom # 7: If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent production units will malfunction.

Axiom # 8: All delivery promises must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0.

Axiom # 9: Major changes in construction will always be requested after fabrication is nearly
completed.

Axiom #10: Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order, will be.

Axiom #11: Interchangeable parts won't.

Axiom #12: Manufacturers specifications of performance should be multiplied by a factor of 0.5.

Axiom #13: Salesmen's claims for performance should be multiplied by a factor of 0.25.

Axiom #14: Installation and Operating Instructions shipped with any device will be discarded
promptly by the Receiving Department.

Axiom #15: Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.

Axiom #16: Service conditions as given on specifications will be exceeded.

Axiom #17: If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.

Axiom #18: Identical units which test in an identical fashion will not behave in an identical fashion
in the field.

Axiom #19: If, in engineering practice, a safety factor is set through service experience, at an
ultimate value, an ingenious idiot will promptly calculate a method to exceed said safety
factor.

Axiom #20: Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.