FA+
Shop
3/6/2013
12 years ago
Mmmmm.....I forgot how much I love Evanescence
Anyway, I just thought I would give a quick update on my life. Last semester, I was a student at a college here in my state. It was difficult and I actually failed a majority of my classes. Then over break, I decided i would give it an honest try. Then I come back and....I don't know. I'm just not ready for college. If I were, I wouldn't be sooo willing to just skip class and sleep in my room all the damn time. So one day, I sat down with myself and thought about who I was and what I really wanted to do with my life. And I realized, at the point where I am in my life, I don't want to be in college. So I decided to drop out. Here's essentially how everyone reacted.
FRIENDS
Thank god for my friends. They have all helped me a lot. Big shout out to
duskoe . That boy has helped me soo much. He is one of the only people who has completely supported me and hasn't tried to sway me one way or another. I wish I had as much faith in myself as he does. Then there is my other friend Holly. I'm pretty much the only person at the university that she wanted to hang out with on a regular basis. I feel like it's going to be hardest on her when I go. But she understands. The only thing she asks is that I spend some sort of time with her before I go. Which I intend to. One of the main reasons I haven't technically dropped out is because I still need to say my goodbyes. Finally, there are my two best friends at my hometown. They are fantastic people and have already helped me decide what I will do to find a place to live.
FAMILY
My family is a little split on this decision. My sister can understand why I am doing it, but she is mainly worried about me losing my financial aide. She recommends me taking online courses to keep up with my gen eds. and the make sure that I can take full advantage of the financial aide. My brother-in-law has actually been a big help. He likes to talk so he has talked to me alot about this whole thing. He's helped me put my thoughts and wants into words. And he also did the same thing I am doing (essentially). And he survived, gaining a great wife and two amazing kids in the process. My mom is cool with whatever I do because I am an adult and I can make my own choices. My dad on the other hand is NOT happy at all. He wanted me to go to college and graduate and become something amazing, doing better than he ever hoped to do himself. I get that. But what he doesn't get is that I am not him. I'm not my brothers. I'm not content with just sitting in a house that I don't pay for, never working, never earning the money I need to buy stuff. I am not just going to waste my days at his house sleeping. My ass is going to be working two jobs, maybe even taking online courses. And I will be moving out of his house asap. He loves me and I love him, but I can't be under his thumb anymore.
ME
I'm terrified. I know I can't do this college thing anymore and I know I can't live under my dad's judging eye anymore. Thankfully, two of my friends have offered to get an apartment together. Which will be great, but still, I doubt I'll be able to spend too much time at that place. The apartment is $980 a month, and then we have to pay for our electricity. Then I have to split my phone bill with my dad, pay my car insurance, maybe even pay my student loans off, or pay for online classes, and help with groceries above all that. I'm scared, yes. But I need to get out there in the real world and start living as an adult. I don't want to end up being 27 years old and living with my parents, relying on other people to pay my way.
Yowzas.....that was a bit longer than I expected. Oh well. What can I do. Who ever knows if anyone will read all this. I'm just glad I got it off my chest.
Have a great day!
Anyway, I just thought I would give a quick update on my life. Last semester, I was a student at a college here in my state. It was difficult and I actually failed a majority of my classes. Then over break, I decided i would give it an honest try. Then I come back and....I don't know. I'm just not ready for college. If I were, I wouldn't be sooo willing to just skip class and sleep in my room all the damn time. So one day, I sat down with myself and thought about who I was and what I really wanted to do with my life. And I realized, at the point where I am in my life, I don't want to be in college. So I decided to drop out. Here's essentially how everyone reacted.
FRIENDS
Thank god for my friends. They have all helped me a lot. Big shout out to
duskoe . That boy has helped me soo much. He is one of the only people who has completely supported me and hasn't tried to sway me one way or another. I wish I had as much faith in myself as he does. Then there is my other friend Holly. I'm pretty much the only person at the university that she wanted to hang out with on a regular basis. I feel like it's going to be hardest on her when I go. But she understands. The only thing she asks is that I spend some sort of time with her before I go. Which I intend to. One of the main reasons I haven't technically dropped out is because I still need to say my goodbyes. Finally, there are my two best friends at my hometown. They are fantastic people and have already helped me decide what I will do to find a place to live.FAMILY
My family is a little split on this decision. My sister can understand why I am doing it, but she is mainly worried about me losing my financial aide. She recommends me taking online courses to keep up with my gen eds. and the make sure that I can take full advantage of the financial aide. My brother-in-law has actually been a big help. He likes to talk so he has talked to me alot about this whole thing. He's helped me put my thoughts and wants into words. And he also did the same thing I am doing (essentially). And he survived, gaining a great wife and two amazing kids in the process. My mom is cool with whatever I do because I am an adult and I can make my own choices. My dad on the other hand is NOT happy at all. He wanted me to go to college and graduate and become something amazing, doing better than he ever hoped to do himself. I get that. But what he doesn't get is that I am not him. I'm not my brothers. I'm not content with just sitting in a house that I don't pay for, never working, never earning the money I need to buy stuff. I am not just going to waste my days at his house sleeping. My ass is going to be working two jobs, maybe even taking online courses. And I will be moving out of his house asap. He loves me and I love him, but I can't be under his thumb anymore.
ME
I'm terrified. I know I can't do this college thing anymore and I know I can't live under my dad's judging eye anymore. Thankfully, two of my friends have offered to get an apartment together. Which will be great, but still, I doubt I'll be able to spend too much time at that place. The apartment is $980 a month, and then we have to pay for our electricity. Then I have to split my phone bill with my dad, pay my car insurance, maybe even pay my student loans off, or pay for online classes, and help with groceries above all that. I'm scared, yes. But I need to get out there in the real world and start living as an adult. I don't want to end up being 27 years old and living with my parents, relying on other people to pay my way.
Yowzas.....that was a bit longer than I expected. Oh well. What can I do. Who ever knows if anyone will read all this. I'm just glad I got it off my chest.
Have a great day!
Wow, I JUST now saw this when randomly deciding to go back and look at your profile. *nuzz* I already miss you like CRAZY and hope to see you real soon. We all miss you really. :3 LOTS! *HUGS*
