rant time:

HOW the hell am I supposed to pay for college in cash, pay for my own stuff like cloths, save for getting an apartment, and pay for my cat's stuff if my mother keeps wanting me to pay for a bunch of other stuff that was never agreed upon!!!!

she's the one who made me go to the doctor so why should i have to pay the $300 bill for that?! she's the one who insists on driving me certain places so why should i pay for gas as much as i do?! she is the one who blows her money on books and beads so why should i be punished for her stupidity with money?!?!?!

grrrr its just so frustrating because as soon as i actually start to make money and feel like i can breath and not have panic attacks about the future, she sticks me with a bill!! its like one step forward and 2 steps back!! i'm trying to get a second job with consistent hours that won't conflict with school and that won't stress me to death.

chu i just want to know what to expect. i can deal with the bills i'm stuck with, its just that feeling of security being pulled out from under my feet that is the hardest each time.

.. i need a hug..