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My Lives Thus Far
12 years ago
I think it would be fun to give a little insight on my life. I've come to learn growing up and looking back I am a person who grows very attached to things. I appreciate every aspect of my life, knowing that bad times help make me stronger and gauge the good times that never last.
I was born into a military family that moved frequently. Because of this I have lived in numerous places and experienced lots of things. However, that came with a price, is the pain I've felt leaving things behind as I grew close. As of now I have learned I am now anchored emotionally to so many things.
Because of how malleable of a person I am to my environment, and every time I finally become truly happy and settled, it never ceases to happen that a curve ball sends me across the country. Friends soon forget me and I begin to question at times whether I really even lived there. And because my life changes become so drastic with the people I am around to boot, I have the mindset I died numerous times through my life.
I was once a boy who wanted nothing more than to leave his hometown.
I was once the bully who put others down to make himself feel better and wanted to hurt others.
I was once the most feared, hated and loneliest of my peers.
I was once the most successful and hard working member of my class who dreamed to be a scholar.
I was once the doormat and punching bag new kid who cried all the time and was avoided.
I was once a medal winning swimmer and a skater who was the ladies man of the town.
I was once the weeaboo who hung out with nerds who tried out parkour and wanted to be an engineer.
I was once the quiet one who had an interest in running a business and took courses on marketing.
I was once the goth who had no confidence and escaped to art and music to avoid the world in the winter days.
And then I met my two soul brothers, and I became the most one of the most vigorous and luckiest person in the world to have finally found life long friends. Friends I would never lose. I had finally thought this vicious cycle would have ended, of becoming happy only to lose it and start all over from scratch, to have to adjust.
I was so close. So close to finishing this with my friends and I would finally leave my family in a place where I can just stay put. But then at the end of that first summer we spent together. That summer we spent everyday playing games and going out and living our lives to the fullest, I learned I would have to move during my senior year in high school.
Now once again, it feels as though that life had never happened. Just like the others.
My life feels so scattered. It's like a giant puzzle with pieces that can never come together. It's making me afraid to move forward you know, knowing I might be leaving more behind again.
I was born into a military family that moved frequently. Because of this I have lived in numerous places and experienced lots of things. However, that came with a price, is the pain I've felt leaving things behind as I grew close. As of now I have learned I am now anchored emotionally to so many things.
Because of how malleable of a person I am to my environment, and every time I finally become truly happy and settled, it never ceases to happen that a curve ball sends me across the country. Friends soon forget me and I begin to question at times whether I really even lived there. And because my life changes become so drastic with the people I am around to boot, I have the mindset I died numerous times through my life.
I was once a boy who wanted nothing more than to leave his hometown.
I was once the bully who put others down to make himself feel better and wanted to hurt others.
I was once the most feared, hated and loneliest of my peers.
I was once the most successful and hard working member of my class who dreamed to be a scholar.
I was once the doormat and punching bag new kid who cried all the time and was avoided.
I was once a medal winning swimmer and a skater who was the ladies man of the town.
I was once the weeaboo who hung out with nerds who tried out parkour and wanted to be an engineer.
I was once the quiet one who had an interest in running a business and took courses on marketing.
I was once the goth who had no confidence and escaped to art and music to avoid the world in the winter days.
And then I met my two soul brothers, and I became the most one of the most vigorous and luckiest person in the world to have finally found life long friends. Friends I would never lose. I had finally thought this vicious cycle would have ended, of becoming happy only to lose it and start all over from scratch, to have to adjust.
I was so close. So close to finishing this with my friends and I would finally leave my family in a place where I can just stay put. But then at the end of that first summer we spent together. That summer we spent everyday playing games and going out and living our lives to the fullest, I learned I would have to move during my senior year in high school.
Now once again, it feels as though that life had never happened. Just like the others.
My life feels so scattered. It's like a giant puzzle with pieces that can never come together. It's making me afraid to move forward you know, knowing I might be leaving more behind again.
Just remember: You have friends everywhere you look, and even if some of your closest friends aren't there with you physically, you can always count on them in your heart.
I can't understand that kind of actual life experience, but the fact is that you didn't settle anywhere, and when you thought you could anchor right there, you had to move. I sympathize with that. And the fact each move is a reflection of your life trying to something, to find your calling.
I'm keeping note of this.