Avada Kedavra, that is all.

Or alternatively, "Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, Tweak"

I had a philosophy teacher once who told me, "I've always enjoyed reading everything you write because you tell a story like a weathered author. Of course by that i mean you sound like an old alcoholic." For whatever reason, that statement had made me feel profoundly proud

I remember that comment. I'd have been flattered myself. :p