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I SHALL RANT HERE NOW
12 years ago
Oh this rant is full of hormones and emotions and other things because I can and only like two people are going to actually maybe read this and that's just swell. Also, I am fully aware that this is irrational. Believe me. I know. I can't change it though.
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I am so completely pissed off at my parents. Why? Because they are turning the tv up loud and the noise is driving me insane. I can't do loud noises. And I also have a retarded ocd thing where I have to wash my face like freaking bajillion times a day or everything goes into panic mode. Well Dad shaved his face in the sink I use and hasn't cleaned it. He left globs of toothpaste and hair everywhere and it's disgusting. I won't touch it while it looks like that. But I have no other sink to use, so I don't get to wash my face. This brings a really retarded amount of stress onto me. It is literally hard for me to function right now. I just want to curl into a ball and cry or stab things. I'm not sure. It's actually hard for me to type. Today is St Patrick's day. Everything was supposed to be fun and good today. It was for Rei. And I am happy that she had such a great time at her show. I really am. I love it when she's happy. I didn't get to go with her today, though. I wish I would have been able to. I want to spend more time with her. I barely got to see her for an hour this evening. When I'm all completely stressed and irritated like this she can completely calm me down, but I didn't get to do that because I was busy making us dinner, and then she brought a Oregon Trail Zombie to play, so I didn't get any cuddles. I was lonely for pretty much the entire day, and I've been easily irritated all day as well. I know it's hormones. It is. But knowing what it is does not solve the problem. No, knowing what it is does not change the symptoms of anything. I've learned that the hard way. I really hope that I'm not completely hormonal when I go see my psychologist this Wednesday. That wouldn't be good. "I HATE EVERYTHING" "Why is that, sweetie?" "I DON'T KNOW." *goes to sob in the corner of the office* "I see." * prescribes antipsycotic drugs*
--
I am so completely pissed off at my parents. Why? Because they are turning the tv up loud and the noise is driving me insane. I can't do loud noises. And I also have a retarded ocd thing where I have to wash my face like freaking bajillion times a day or everything goes into panic mode. Well Dad shaved his face in the sink I use and hasn't cleaned it. He left globs of toothpaste and hair everywhere and it's disgusting. I won't touch it while it looks like that. But I have no other sink to use, so I don't get to wash my face. This brings a really retarded amount of stress onto me. It is literally hard for me to function right now. I just want to curl into a ball and cry or stab things. I'm not sure. It's actually hard for me to type. Today is St Patrick's day. Everything was supposed to be fun and good today. It was for Rei. And I am happy that she had such a great time at her show. I really am. I love it when she's happy. I didn't get to go with her today, though. I wish I would have been able to. I want to spend more time with her. I barely got to see her for an hour this evening. When I'm all completely stressed and irritated like this she can completely calm me down, but I didn't get to do that because I was busy making us dinner, and then she brought a Oregon Trail Zombie to play, so I didn't get any cuddles. I was lonely for pretty much the entire day, and I've been easily irritated all day as well. I know it's hormones. It is. But knowing what it is does not solve the problem. No, knowing what it is does not change the symptoms of anything. I've learned that the hard way. I really hope that I'm not completely hormonal when I go see my psychologist this Wednesday. That wouldn't be good. "I HATE EVERYTHING" "Why is that, sweetie?" "I DON'T KNOW." *goes to sob in the corner of the office* "I see." * prescribes antipsycotic drugs*
