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[Private/Personal] Something about my childhood!
12 years ago
It's not often that I think back to my childhood, but I had a bit of an epiphany earlier that I couldn't stop giggling at, so I thought I would share. It's not often I share things that are really, truly personal here on FA, so take it for what it is!
When I was little, I had OCD. I mean real, debilitating OCD that had an impact on my life. If someone shut a door too close behind me, I would start bawling my eyes out. If I walked anywhere by myself, I had to take the exact path I took back, going under, over and around anything exactly the same as I did when I first passed. If I walked around a pole or sign, I would have to go back around it exactly however many times I went around the first time, or I would not move from that spot, thinking I would die. If I was walking beside someone, and we went on either side of something, I would hurriedly run back and go around so that we passed on the same side.
These weren't all of the symptoms of my OCD, but were probably the parts that caused me the most trouble growing up, and some that I still catch myself thinking even today. The reason why I thought all of that, was that in my mind, behind me, at all times there was a little line, or string, about yarn size, that if it ever got tangled or cut that would be the end of everything. It was my "life line."
Anytime I was with someone, I'd mentally "attach" the line with whoever I was with, so it wasn't always trailing behind me. But by doing this, I was pretty much at their beck and call. I couldn't let anyone walk between us in case they broke the line, and I couldn't ever walk the opposite side of a sign or pole, else I'd have to hurry back so my line wouldn't get caught!
It always gave me a little bit of comfort when I'd attach myself to someone. I always knew where they were, and it gave me someone to follow if we were lost. It was usually someone I trusted a whole lot.
I kept doing this until I was 15 or 16, and still if I ever get uncomfortable in a crowd, I'll find someone I know and attach myself just for the comfort. I hadn't really thought about this in a while, but today something sparked my memory.
My mother always tells people the story of when I was little tot, younger than I can even remember, we lived next to a busy highway. And I, being the tiny little blonde ponytailed thing I am, was a natural Houdini when it came to escaping my mother's sight and had a penchant for hiding. My mother was scared to death of me getting into that road, though, so she used to put me on a little run hooked behind me before she let me go play outside, just in case one day I slipped away and she couldn't catch me in time.
It probably wasn't the cause of me always thinking there was a line behind me, but remembering that certainly made me giggle for a good while.
When I was little, I had OCD. I mean real, debilitating OCD that had an impact on my life. If someone shut a door too close behind me, I would start bawling my eyes out. If I walked anywhere by myself, I had to take the exact path I took back, going under, over and around anything exactly the same as I did when I first passed. If I walked around a pole or sign, I would have to go back around it exactly however many times I went around the first time, or I would not move from that spot, thinking I would die. If I was walking beside someone, and we went on either side of something, I would hurriedly run back and go around so that we passed on the same side.
These weren't all of the symptoms of my OCD, but were probably the parts that caused me the most trouble growing up, and some that I still catch myself thinking even today. The reason why I thought all of that, was that in my mind, behind me, at all times there was a little line, or string, about yarn size, that if it ever got tangled or cut that would be the end of everything. It was my "life line."
Anytime I was with someone, I'd mentally "attach" the line with whoever I was with, so it wasn't always trailing behind me. But by doing this, I was pretty much at their beck and call. I couldn't let anyone walk between us in case they broke the line, and I couldn't ever walk the opposite side of a sign or pole, else I'd have to hurry back so my line wouldn't get caught!
It always gave me a little bit of comfort when I'd attach myself to someone. I always knew where they were, and it gave me someone to follow if we were lost. It was usually someone I trusted a whole lot.
I kept doing this until I was 15 or 16, and still if I ever get uncomfortable in a crowd, I'll find someone I know and attach myself just for the comfort. I hadn't really thought about this in a while, but today something sparked my memory.
My mother always tells people the story of when I was little tot, younger than I can even remember, we lived next to a busy highway. And I, being the tiny little blonde ponytailed thing I am, was a natural Houdini when it came to escaping my mother's sight and had a penchant for hiding. My mother was scared to death of me getting into that road, though, so she used to put me on a little run hooked behind me before she let me go play outside, just in case one day I slipped away and she couldn't catch me in time.
It probably wasn't the cause of me always thinking there was a line behind me, but remembering that certainly made me giggle for a good while.
There was an artist I used to follow - not on FA or anything, they had their own website that I lost the link to when my first computer went down - that used to have a tiny red string leading from all their characters. It was a recurring theme in their work, and though I loved the artist, couldn't ever find their work again!
Thank you for being adorable, Maba.