So. Last night I had a fight with my captors >_>

I've been incredibly sick of bullshit restrictions, my displeasure was somewhat displayed, and things escalated. Apparently I'm banned from even using my own computer for a week. Their justification is that it's not actually my computer, it's theirs and they let me use it. You know what, fine. So I have NOTHING of my own that matters at fucking all. They get to toss some toys into my little cage and take them away as they see fit. And I'm supposed to be grateful.

I'm actually at school right now typing because I can't do ANYTHING at home. I'm supposed to be in class but... No, I can't just disappear without a word.

Right now I really don't know what I'm going to do. I'm incredibly angry, and honestly very depressed. My friends are the only thing keeping me away from suicide, and I keep having my access restricted. Now I'm not supposed to be able to see them for a week.

I know that I can't keep going on like this. I need out. I can't just keep going on with people jerking me around and telling me what I can and cannot do, presuming what's best for me. I need to find a way out. If that means I end up having to beg and whore myself out until I can get a pro bono attorney or something to get me out of the state program I'm in, maybe that's what I'll have to do. And then I'll be on the street and trying to find somewhere to live and some way to survive.

I really don't know. I know that I cannot continue like this. Anyone who reads this, help me try to figure out some kind of resources to use to get out. If I stay here, I will almost certainly kill myself. I have no serious will to live, I only want to be with my loved ones. My current situation is not allowing me to sustain myself.

I NEED out. No matter the cost. If anyone has a home to offer, some idea how to get myself out of this predicament, ANY way to help, I need it.