City that never sleeps my fetid asscrack! This is the city that never shits, and as a result IT'S FULL OF IT! We've found an apartment (After learning our roommates are subhuman scum who abuse anyone they get a chance to, leading to a series of Temporary Protective Orders on both sides of the fence... Not that they really had room to bitch, we we're paying half their rent while they decided to heap their emotional baggage and abuse on us. Not to mention our puppy "going missing", which I am very sure is code for "Sold for drugs". And the little undermenchen had the GALL to take our rent money and then try to get us evicted without refunding our money... Never, ever, EVER trust a bipolar person, ever. They're scum one minute, and even scummier the next!), wont be ready for a week, and to compound matters we cant contact a place to stay temporarily because it's only open from 9 to 5.... What the fuck?! Never sleeps? Then what the fuck are regular business hours doing here?! I mean, do people only need a place to stay between 9 to 5? No? Then why the omnipresent fuck would they only be open at such (frankly, ridiculous [see also: dickless]) hours? This place is fucking ass backwards as shit can get. And to top it all off, it's a million fucking degrees out there, and the idiots who built this place couldnt even do half as good as a buncha witless Mormons at terraforming a desert. Fuck, parts of TEXAS are greener than this place. MY LAST FUCKING BOWEL MOVEMENT WAS GREENER THAN THIS PLACE! And I havent eaten veggies in a week!!! And to top off the topping off none of the homeless services will help unless me any my beloved fiancee either seperate (UN-ACC-EPTIBLE! Yes, I pronounce it that way...) or completely demean ourselves. The Salvation Army (Pfft, army my ass, they're more like the Navy... Hey sailors! Yooo-hooooo!) offers a place to stay for $9 a night, per person, but they require you to stay with a shit-ton of homeless people that are likely to steal from you, rob you outright, or give you something infectious! Dorm-style housing they call it. A fucking human kennel is what I call it! Disgusting.
To sum up: I hope when the Chinese invade they wipe this place off the fucking Earth! I'll gladly lend a hand.

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