I talk about some transphobic comments here, so if that would ruin your day, you probably shouldn't keep reading.


Can't stop thinking of someone today. A guy I desperately wanted to be friends with: he was so nice and sweet, good artist, and just adorable. Me and my ex loved chatting with him, there was that excitement of a new friendship, even if it may not have turned out to be something super close. We would hang out in his streams and just have fun.

Then one day, he starts saying incredibly ignorant things about trans people. Ignorance alone isn't a character flaw, so I try to be gentle in telling him otherwise, which is hard because I'm offended at the time, but I try. I tell him that biological sex does not equal gender, and in fact it's quite offensive to say so; to refer to a trans woman as "actually a man but would like to be addressed as if he were a woman."

I gave him everything he needed to be decent, I gave him information, I gave him the chance to listen, I gave him what I hope was equal treatment and fair, non-condescending speech. But no. As long as I was the only one offended, he wanted to keep thinking that people have the right to know a trans person's genitalia, because that's their "real gender." And to him, there was nothing wrong thinking this, because none of his other non-trans followers were offended, so as long as he was alienating only a minority of people who considered themselves his friend, nothing else mattered. Then he blocked me and stopped responding to everything I asked him except whatever related directly to the commission I had from him.

I liked him so much, and I wanted to be his friend so badly; I wanted chat with him again, and hang out in his streams, and buy him pizza, and watch him draw cute art, and continue to consider him a kind and understanding person... and he just ruined everything. He broke my heart.

And I'm not trying to be melodramatic... it really does feel the same way. Wish I knew why I keep thinking about him today. I'm not about to stop caring about people, but sometimes it really hurts.