SOOO! I'm not sleeping AGAIN for another night. I need to get this writing piece done, argh!

TL; DR (for those of you who don't care, and I don't blame you)

SO I almost leave my mate, 'cause she's treating me like dirt. Meet up with an ex, who is now batting for the opposite team and jokes constantly about me doing that (jokes? seems not.) and haven't heard from my parents for a coupla months, when they said they were moving... So I have no info to contact them with.

On top of all that, I chose the WORST time to start this, cause I just got dumped with a billion assignments.

So, on top of all that, I have no money and my guitar student keeps dodging on me.

That wasn't so long, almost no point for tl;dr, but meh.

I just want someone to fucking treat me well. I can't cope with being rejected, accused of cheating WHILE IN VISUAL RANGE, then have the person act like everything is fine. I'm not dirt, I have enough fucking self-esteem to believe that, but I can't leave, 'cause I'm a slave to my heart. I love her too much...

Most of my pets aren't on much, and the one that is has their own mate, and can't be what I want, for which I don't blame them.

I am human, I am fur, I am therian, I am love. People can't accept that. Everywhere I see a group judged. or all BUT that group judged. Except by a few individuals. I wish I was able to find people who could listen, help and be what I am for others. I may act like stone sometimes, but I am made of flesh and emotion.

I love people I love, and sometimes that feels like a crime. I have had my heart torn and sewn by so many people, or by the same one, so many times, the scars are still fresh, and are not healing cause they are beign reopened (and hereby i say good by to my writing skills for now). I am being torn and I am being ruined, and I can't stop it. Im starting to live on pain, and I start wanting to dish it out. I wanna push everyone to breaking and then end their suffering. I wanna drain the pain. I want to ruin others as they ruined me, but I can't, because its wrong, and immoral, and I can't help but think of that. So fucking what if I love people. I love some more than others, and I love one more than all. but that fucking one cant see what she is doing and if fucking kills me. it already almost has.

Woah, nope still tl:dr. Fuck! I need someone to vent to. I need a stoic fucker that can be soft cute and fuzzy. FUCK COMMAS THAT SENTENCE NEEDS NONE!


I'm sorry to all the poor furs that read that... please don't fear, be angry, or reject me... I don't hurt people if I can help it...