One day I'm speaking with my mom on Skype, then a few hours later. I'm being told my mother had a brain aneurysm that has ruptured. I dropped everything and fly across the country to California to get to her sick bed with my lil 9mth son (thank you my beloved mate for making that possible).

Its been hell this pass week and seems to be getting worst. My mom is a fighter and stubborn as all hell, I have to have faith that she will pull through. She's had surgery and so many procedures done these pass days that I am getting very worried. She is in a coma and has had a few stokes that has caused some brain damage and paralysis since the operation on Thursday.

I feel so damn helpless right now. Knowing that there is nothing I can do for her but pray. My heart is tearing up for my mother and my son who is my strength and my joy. He loves her, knows her, smiles when he hears her voice on the phone and laughs when he sees her on the computer. I have already lost my father, I can't lose her.

Tomorrow the doctors want to speak to us, her children, together. Told us to discuss what my mom would want...can't think about that just now. Can wait till tomorrow when we know for sure.

People are telling me stories of people having the same things happening to someone they know and coming out of it and taking a few months, still others tell me of those that didn't make it to the hospital alive. I know I should count my blessings that she has made it this far, I even got to talk to her before she went to surgery, so she knows that both I and my son are here waiting for her to wake and get better.

I just feel so lost.