Well, it's been one week since Buffy died and adjusting has been... well... interesting.

Everyday when I'd head to either the garage or the house I usually stopped by the porch and bent down to wave and say Hi to her before heading on my way. Wednesday, i stopped and bent down automatically and sighed... for the moment my automated response defied logic for me to say "Hi!" to Buffy even though i knew she wasn't going to be there. I spent the next 30 mins fighting back tears and failing.

Buffy was also our main source of security here. Since last week we have been forced to rethink alert systems here. We think we've come up with one (since Auska is about as useful as a thumbtack in your shoe). Out-buildings have been fitted with motion sensors and door open sensors. If they are tripped in the middle of the night we will approach the zones with guns drawn. Simple enough.

I am a little worried about Auska though. She's been very... well.. i guess depressed is the word. She has always been around Buffy from the time she was four months old. Auska literally has nothing to 'harass' anymore. She's been a good distraction (fetch and stuff) but between those times shes laying in the spot where Buffy always laid on the step. Auska never use to do that, she always took the other corner near the door.

So, now I'm sitting here with two Long Islands down and working on the first OtterPop of the night with the cabin door open and realizing that I haven't heard any whining at the door for attention... and here i am again in tears...

Miss ya Buffy, i really do.