Crushing sadness...
I randomly having bouts of depression. Without warning, Just sadness and not knowing where it came from.

Family fighting...
The actions of one member reflecting and causing issues among those that know and care about them.

Inner Turmoil...
Fractures in thoughts and knowledge and feelings. Not knowing which way to turn or what idea to follow.

Losing ground...
I feel my mental state is going up and down and my sharpness and my problems change in power. I need to see a head doctor...

Lost...
With the news that my nephew might be a not. I'm sad. I can only care about him if I see him again but with my brother lack of action, I fear I will at a point that I not be seeing him before the year is up.

I know deep down I care about him cause he is related to me. I'm always awkward with family and younger family. I try to relate or try to act adult.

Someone give me hope. I miss the old days. I miss sharing a bed with someone. I miss having solid job that a loved. I miss having more friends. Why can't I shake this doubt.


~ I love you all