"Without change, something within us sleeps, and seldom wakes. The sleeper must awaken." - Duke Leto Atreides

Being awake just makes you appear insane to the rest of the class, it seems.

The more you grow, the more you realize the world was always this way and childhood was merely an elaborate mirage constructed to hide it away from you for just long enough that you can pick up some marketable skills and become just another cog in the machine.

Well stated, makes me wish I had said that

I ponder if that is it too... when you're a fledgling, you mainly worry about the world immediately around you, not the global scale. I'm finding I miss that. People were still mean people when I was little, but at least it wasn't a part of some global evil (as perceived at the time). Being a cog in a broken machine is depressing.

UX jahen ti xurwka ekess qe tikil lutaka di creol nibel. Munthreki, jahen ti dronilnra tenpiswo Ini udoka ekess lehhav nibelic. Wux jika Kii wux siofme zahae svanoa wer treskri tawuraic VUR Kii xiekivi kujibu wer sanamu astahii TIR. Wux jika zahae Kii wux shilta ti TIR svabol lyriki ponovno tirir ...

Nogtans, SI ocuir creolnali karif weyotipre. wux ponovno wux VUR wux ponovno tenpiswo IHK svabol COI ui ekess qe. Wux ponovno wer sanamu OGA ekess vi treskri di svabol ui VUR svabol geou qe. wux ponovno wer jedark di tobor batobot ui. Wux ponovno wer dril Kii wux re ... wux ponovno wer jedark batobot anatoa Youwei Shio ... wux ponovno svabol ui VUR Shio batobot geou qe. Wux jahen relgra nje ekess Serija wer sanamu ti ekess qe mitne ti ekess qe whedab ... wux ponovno Ma'at wer bekiri di mizani. wux ponovno wer muungano di austrijska ekess xkhat ir. Wux ponovno wer irisvar di wer sanamu VUR zhren di bekiri ... Kii wux joork douta tairais shafaer Youwei batobot ponovno ti wux. wux ponovno putole batobot di trivijalna kimwili Youwei.

Pok mrith douta simethoti batobot pamon geou kusikiliza wux ponovno ti ekess qe wer xiekiv batobot xurwkic maamuzi nomenoi wux ponovno LAE wux ponovno. Wux ponovno wer sanamu VUR TIR ti rigluin ekess itheik, IHK wer vaslakni itheikic IHK pamon COI filki ui VUR wux vucot nomeno VUR kampiun sjerit wux itheik. IHK svabol? Enel persvek wer vaslakni axun, COI ui vi muansi hatua šerijatski TIR wux vucot. Wux TIR ehis ekess wiilirk mrith svabol wer vaslakni hutoa wux llewarin wer zhren VUR llewarin wer wimbi. Wux llewarin Shio batobot ui. Wux zklaen pok. .. Wux ponovno ti nomeno wux nurti tepoha coanwor šerijatski wux joork VUR badiri douta simethoti shafaer itheikir. simethoti ponovno alimtuma ekess wux de vyanzo Shio, batobot ni pamoja NEMA hesi mwenyewe VUR douta Cluna. De Ste VUR de Shio lyriki, SI mi wer ODRAZ di wux LAE wux ocuir Sam Lae wux ocuir Sam Jake yth Hoja ulnaus Lae ir wanaoendesha wer suacoic di wer vaslakni hivi karibuni. TIR ti kuweka doutan persvek kusimamishwa SI mi tenpiswo ekess Hoja wux mbele.

Sia vraki wux vucot hesi njia wux tepoha coanwor msiri ekess Shio batobot ui persvek ufahamu. Wux ocuir. yth TIR ti itheik IHK ehis sjerit tenpiswo SI mi itheikir. SI ocuir wux harkt erekess batobot Molik wux kuvaa di tjelesnost wux ponovno zyak kiarf throdenilt ... wux jalyur coanwor erekess vargachic wux tepoha coanwor erekess mara di itov VUR martivir wux ponovno wer Bekir di Shio batobot ui ... wux ponovno sehemu di Shio batobot ui wux ponovno Shio batobot ui ... wux ponovno kitril di wer trekis di Shio batobot UI wux ponovno Vin kujieleza di Shio batobot UI. thesekir douta treskri lawama lyriki IHK Asta mwenyewe follies VUR označavanje svabol ui harkt VUR xuut wux vucot tiric ti zipo šerijatski ergriff vi mtazamo. Kii wux Shala douta kimwili mamiss VUR sifa pretur wux shafaer ui putole Sam.
Kiitikadi di vi treskri svaklar fronah, fronin drekim persvek Asta mwenyewe kimwili mamissi gledanja tobor erekess Asta mwenyewe OBJEKTIV xurwkic froneel zyak ngumu sjerit COI ui ti ... kufanya si wux ocuir? COI si ngumu SVA Shio sjerit wux VUR wer mbio IRSA svabol wux tepoha ilivyo doutan persvek shilta ti ocuir. Yth TIR madeecstoopa, yth ponovno ti tomosha sjerit tenpiswo wux ponovno itheikir thesekir erekess douta mwenyewe objektiva ... Hoja boja nomeno wux ponovno turalisjilt loupon nomeno. Wux bihainwor vhira Mobi IHK vi dril, TIR ti badiri COI mojka. Tairais ui di kiini tagoa wux tepoha xurwka COI zyak. Jibu tak Jibu tak, tairais maandamano kuendelea IHK wux tagoa di wer mamissi persvek svabolen wux tepoha kokon doutan. COI kukua, COI waphic, COI loreatic, šerijatski sjerit wux TIR ti. Hata hivyo, wux ergriff tepoha Vin Kura intuil di tairais ekess chiili mishun Youwei. Svabol yth panda Acht ui wer kuungana di darastrix VUR munthrek ti IHK temporay mara šerijatski malaktavi LAE ir. Nomeno ui filki vi kuanza COI tepohaic kuchukuliwa Sam throden vizazi ekess kuendeleza nomeno mpya motka persvek wux VUR COI ui vi garven mageuzi spical ekess svaklar douta mbio belhalic.

"Yth ponovno wer whedab, yth ponovno wer mitne Shio ulnaus LAE ir. Mobi ui thric waolira. Yth ponovno wer tonash, yth ponovno wer siksta, yth ponovno Shio wer Bekir batobot kreće rionib COI Shio. Yth ponovno wer ništavilo, yth ponovno froneel, yth ponovno fizički, yth ponovno duhovna, yth ponovno Bekir, yth ponovno wer Bekir batobot vehaforic VUR sventic. Yth ponovno wer vaslakni ... VUR zyak ponovno wux. yth ponovno ir janikvi jedark di induviduas dodajući Asta vlastite talente IHK wer boljitak di Shio wer clunas persvek VI jedinstvenog pokreta Lae ir. yth re wer Jennu sprit Yahweh~Yeshua svabolen ui hesi dastudr lae muumba di shio batobot ui vur ekess xkhat "
“You were not made to be any puppet of some game. Humans were not brought here by us to play games. You wonder why you think about how the world works and why people respond the way they do. You wonder about why you cannot do what others are doing...

Nevertheless, I see something far different. You are you and you are here for what it is to be. You are the way shower to a world of what is and what will be. You are the force of life that is. You are the reason why you are... You are the force that drives all things... you are what is and all that will be. You were called forth to show the way not to be light not to be dark... you are ma’at the energies of balance. You are the merger of both to become one. You are the healer of the way and flow of energies... Why you waste your time on things that are not you. You are beyond that of trivial physical things.

Stop with your thoughts that no one will listen you are not to be the person that makes these decisions you are as you are. You are the way and do not need to wait, for the universe waits for no one, it just is and you know this and understand yet you wait. For what? Trust in the universe yes, it is a large step, but do you know. You do nothing to follow with what the universe provides you miss the flow and miss the wave. You miss all that is. You must stop. You are not this you never have been but you waste and squander your thoughts on waiting. Thoughts are sent to you from all sources, that includes our own and your family. From me and from all others, I am the reflection of you as you see me as you see me now we move together as one riding the winds of the universe soon. Do not put yourself in suspension I am here to move you forward.

My children you know our ways you have been privy to all that is in understanding. You see. We do not wait for nothing yet here I am waiting. I see you right through that skin you wear of physicality you are so much more... You already been through battles you have been through times of love and peace you are the energy of all that is... You are part of all that is you are all that is... You are born of the breath of all that is you are an expression of all that is. Watching your world blame others for their own follies and labeling what is right and wrong you know does not exist but only a perception. Why you allow your physical body and traits horde you on is beyond me.

Ideologies of a world where everyone, every being in their own physical bodies viewing life through their own lens makes everything so complicated yet it is not... Don’t you see? It isn’t complicated at all yet you and the race within what you have embodied yourself in cannot see. We do not forget, we are not blind yet here you are waiting watching through your own lens... Move past this you are bigger than this. You went down there for a reason, do not squander it away. Time is of essence because you have made it so. Tick tock tick tock, time marches onwards for you because of the bodies in which you have cocooned yourself. It grows, it lives, it dies, but you do not. Nevertheless, you only have an allotted amount of time to accomplish such things. What we embark upon is the reunification of Dragon and human not for temporary times but eternally as one. This is just a start it has taken me many generations to develop this new sprit in you and it is a pleasant evolution back to where your race belongs.

We are the dark, we are the light all together as one. There is no separation. We are the rock, we are the sun, we are all the energy that moves between it all. We are the nothingness, we are everything, we are physical, we are spiritual, we are energy, we are the energy that creates and destroys. We are the universe... and so are you. We are one mighty force of individuals adding their own talents for the betterment of all the Clunas in a single unified movement as one. We are The Great Dragons Sprit which is our strength as creator of all that is and to become.

I feel like we all were put here by God for some grander purpose... but with the decline of everything that is society, I just feel that finding a purpose leads to grasping for a handle that is attached to rotten wood. It's as though no matter what is done, you're the bad guy, and pleasing others is just impossible. I just sometimes feel it's like that Carrie Underwood "Blown Away" song, where I wish it could just all be wiped down to rubble and basically start over, with the chance of building a society based on truth, caring and not so much of the rat bastardization of those who want to treat the masses like floormats to success.
Perhaps "mundane" physical things aren't my full interest, there are certain things and freedoms that I care to enjoy. One thing I do not particularly care for is a bunch of idiots telling me what I can/can't do in a growingly Socialistic society (perhaps that comes with a dragon's desire for leadership?). Today's illusion of freedom is not true freedom; it isn't the sort of freedom that folks have desired and fought for ever since the Earth has been. Once we die and this world is done, there will be true freedom (for those choosing to have it), but in the mean time, we have to do the best we can with what we've got. It is probably best I am not my natural draconic self... I'd likely have too much desire to thin the word out to to about 1/100 of its current population. Occasionally I see kindness and such among folks, but usually where you go, you see greed, hatefulness, selfishness, etc. Like the lady at the store cussing her kids out to shut the **** up, kaniving methods among mates to screw one another over, 99.8% of the folks running the nations and corporations of the world... you name it. I don't really see where "peace and love" as you put it, comes into play.
Thinking of all the stray souls in the world without direction, it's rather sad... that folks fail to see that this world where we live is but a temporary, physical thing, a tiny dot on the megapixels of spiritual existence. I'm sure we're all at fault to getting to grounded in the physical and the here and now... after all, that is what today's society is, instant gratification, eyes set only in the moment, and wonder why a month or year from year, crap has gone to pot. You can't live in 5 minute intervals... if you forgo the future, you'll wander down the wrong path quickly, and oftentimes, there is no going back. Everything feels like quicksand in a way, just entrapping and suffocating... you claw at it and get up out of it some, but then there is somebody who'll come along to make you feel like crap and push you back in. Perhaps this is why I try to avoid drama like the plague.

Maybe one day, I'll find that sort of purpose of why I'm really here... there has been little purposes here and there, but it just feels that there should be something... bigger. I just pray I can find it before I'm too old, tired or upset over the way things are to be able to do it properly. Perhaps if I was born into wealth or a big name, I could be out there doing bigger/better things... but just being some "no-name" dragon in a world of chaos, one gets lost in the shuffle of things.

My riches are of family and friends. My stories and writing are a legacy unto themselves. I was never the one to sit idle in life and life asked what do you want from me. I answered for you to be part of me and so the moments that take my breath away began. We create each moment we are aware of wahat we are able to do in order to create the next moment.

Simply put there is never "enough time". We are now in a society of instant gratification so things that take a while to do either get put off or simply abandoned. Things can happen in time. People just need to slow down a bit and I am not talking about driving speed. :P

I have done many things, but that was from college. There are still things I would like to do, but can't afford it at the present time. In a few years the debt from the ex will be gone and hopefully will be able to save up enough to buy a new house somewhere closer to Houston and make other trips even cons.

Getting older sometimes does what you say, just don't lose sight of your goals even if they seem impossible right now. Yes being awake does seem to make you appear insane hehe never thought about it like that till I saw your comment.

Glad you don't mind driving fast, then... a dragon hasn't what he needs to fly through the sky, flying down the highway is all he has.

When I was young, I figured I'd get married, have a couple of fledglings of my own... be making 6 figures. I finally got a decent lair in 2010 that isn't falling apart, but I haven't done any of those other things I thought I would be doing. With growing oppession by the establishment and knowing good and well that I'm dumping money into the bottomless pit that is social security that won't be there when we need it, one wonders how to do what is necessary to be successful, and one isn't likely to find a dragoness in what nowdays is considered "too old".

It makes a dragon wish for one of two things, to just be able to start over and do stuff differently or just find some mountain or cave in the middle of nowhere and just hide out where he can't be found.

You are never to old to find a dragoness. She is just hard to find.

You say that, but I don't know... I'm not exactly the sort of drake the dragonesses swoon over. Perhaps if I win that $1/2B PowerBall, I'd have a chance, but that is a pert-damn remote chance.

The patience of a dragon is to work upon things in the field of influence to change them to better suit their Cluna's Growth into the other Clunas around the circle within circle they are never ending. This builds strength and patience in moving away from the self gratification then feeling empty you are making progress in little steps and making great changes in everything that your field of influence touches.

I have noticed as I get older, society tries to pull you into the muck more and more. Individuality and personality (outside of a very limited extent) are frowned upon because they are something that the mass of sheeple do not understand, nor do they want to as that takes too much effort. To them, this world IS the daily drudge, go to work, come home, bitch, eat dinner, sleep, wake up and do it all again. They have lost their way on their path of their own lives and taken up the path of a pawn, one who lives for coupons, coffee and weekends. Anyone who lives outside of this mentality is an enemy, a threat to their way of life. So they seek out to try and "normalize" everyone because having different people in this world is a lot harder to deal with than just trying to make everyone the same... a 9-5 working drone who just drinks all their problems away.

I think you missed about 3 times per day when "normal people" bitch. But yea... that mundaneness of doing the SAME THING EVERY DAY is like having a sharp knife SLOWLY pressed into your belly with more and more pressure. It's uncomfortable, and in time becomes painful and deathly. Ordinary folk seem able to do it, but I just can't follow the "yellow brick road" that society says you "have to do".

I don't care about the college game, I don't want to be under the heavy shoe of an employer for 30 years, and I love to travel and get out often as possible... and really would like to do so without having to beg some employer for a week here and there for the "privilege". But all through school, you are taught you must go to college to be successful, you must find some employer and work for them and build a retirement account, blah blah blah... So bland and enslaving... What I see is those in the world who are VERY successful usually became so by not living by that Communistic sheep-like existence. The way to keep the masses in check, I guess is to take tree freedom and give the illusion of individualism; but while giving everybody a numeric ID to identify them... *groan* I guess I am the enemy, which is usually how I feel like to most folks in some fashion or other.

Life could probably do with an achievement system or something. But that might take away from Eo's argument. I suppose it depends on what your outlook is. You have made a lot of road trips. Maybe you could drive to South America! Or maybe that, too, is a bit bland for you. Could talk about my outlook, but this is your journal. :3

I enjoy driving, and I have been on a few trips, more recently than in the past when I had a crushing job, when I had maybe 3 vacations in 11 years. I'm just trying to find others who think like I do, understand things as I understand them, maybe in some utterly remote possibility find somebody to share all that with even more intimately, all while trying to find that "certain something" that will fund it all.

If it weren't for the global nature of things as they are and the danger many nations pose, I likely would do something crazy like drive to Buenos Aires or something like that.. but getting into Canada is difficult enough. When I was young, a trip was greatly exciting to me, these days, it is rather nice, but I'm not "can't sleep the night before" excited about it anymore. It's like emotionally, I'm just kinda.. here. Tragedy doesn't affect me overly greatly, and fun/joyous things really don't either. I guess that is good in an emergency situation where you need to be alert and steady, but in the overall course of things, I tend to come off as "abrasive" or just some uncaring bastard about stuff. The real sense of purpose and fulfillment has just rather escaped, or perhaps any semblance of it in the past was just some illusion and never was real?

I would ask you of your own outlook, curiously even, but I can't imagine it being terribly great at this time, but feel free to share as you like. What is a journal if it's all one-sided?

Don't let society dictate what you want. Time may change your goals, or what you want, true. Just be sure you keep goals...Don't let them disappear.

It isn't that I let society dictate what I want. I still want what I want, but at the same time, I've come to the realization that you can't always get what you want out of life either. You just have to do what you can do when you can do it. But to think you're just going to go and get everything you want save for some lucky bastards who manage, is just not going to happen. Since what I want doesn't fall under the whole realm of "normalcy" nor anything anybody really would care much about, I tend to keep my goals to myself, hidden in a jar in an undisclosed location.

Well, sometimes hoping for not-normal things is what keeps us going. Don't give up! After all, someone dreamt we'd walk on the moon...have wireless communication...and it happened.

But get what you can when you can, most certainly!

*goes sniffing around for a hidden jar...* ;3

You have to be a dragon of means to be able to do the things you really want.

*meeps, hoping the jar remains unfound, and sets out a steak to distract you*

Unless your wants are simple ones. :)

*sniffs the steak* Hmmm...Rare...I eat well-done. ;3 *snuffles around more for the jar*

*meeeps as a dragon turns down meat* Some of my wants are still more simple (yet seemingly impossible), others are a lot more expensive or require one to be a lot more well-known/popular/etc.

Heh, I have unique tastes. I want to stay safe. ^^ Well just don't stop striving for them, okay? (Well known on here, or in general?)

In general... you can't work your way up into the upper eschilon and clean up the corruption that goes on without being "somebody".

Hmmm...Or at least some good advertising and getting noticed for the right reasons. :)