I won't say it's the most worthless piece of cinematic trash ever produced, but it's damn close. Things that are supposed to be dramatic are funny, things that are supposed to be funny are stupid, and things that are supposed to be heartwarming are bizarre. It's like the movie was made in some kind of an alternate universe where you can win the hand of your lady love by getting tased in front of her while holding a chicken burrito. Which is an actual scene that happens.

And don't give me that "it was just a summer popcorn flick!" The second you start putting people with their limbs blown off in the movie, giving them lines like "I'm half the man I was," you've officially lost the right to make that excuse.

The two main morals of the film seem to be:

1) If you're a fuck-up, just wait for a crisis to happen and hope the right people die. Things will turn out A-ok!

2) FUCK YOU SCIENCE

I really hope Pacific Rim is better than this heap of garbage.