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:/
12 years ago
......feels from last night - still words cant describe how happy i was its one of those keysmash moments cause yeah.-
im not in a good mood, laughing isnt exactly something that i'm gonna do right now.....i dont know what it wrong with me today its like sometimes things are good and sometimes things are not so good i just i dont even know i dont even fuckin know i cant find the right word to describe how im feeling currently i just i want to cry, curl into a ball and just cry i dont know why but i just do.......i think everything is just making me stress and not be okay and stuff i'd sleep but i dont want to get yelled at
its like my mom always told me if im tired then nap if im hungry then eat if im bored then find something to do but how can i DO those things when she keeps yelling at me to get up to get out of bed holyhell i just i cant deal with this anymore
another thing is i love love love my bf to death an this distance thing is really starting to mess with me again an slightly worse this time i wish i had a job by now and had the money i need an i can just go an be with him it hurts i havent told my parents bout this only my brother knows and its likei dont want my parents to know im waiting yes and i jus my paitence for moany things is wearing thin now, all my life all ive EVER done is WAIT i was conditioned to be like that since i was little and in the past it has served me but now in the current present? its getting harder to wait and stay sane formany things and yet they say good things come to those who wait but how can i keep waiting when nothing is happening? i TRY to make things happen but i get shot down every damn time plans go askew and everything! i just i dont know im on a low right now and i dont know if i can get out of it...... im gonna go try not to cry though because where would that get me?
im not in a good mood, laughing isnt exactly something that i'm gonna do right now.....i dont know what it wrong with me today its like sometimes things are good and sometimes things are not so good i just i dont even know i dont even fuckin know i cant find the right word to describe how im feeling currently i just i want to cry, curl into a ball and just cry i dont know why but i just do.......i think everything is just making me stress and not be okay and stuff i'd sleep but i dont want to get yelled at
its like my mom always told me if im tired then nap if im hungry then eat if im bored then find something to do but how can i DO those things when she keeps yelling at me to get up to get out of bed holyhell i just i cant deal with this anymore
another thing is i love love love my bf to death an this distance thing is really starting to mess with me again an slightly worse this time i wish i had a job by now and had the money i need an i can just go an be with him it hurts i havent told my parents bout this only my brother knows and its likei dont want my parents to know im waiting yes and i jus my paitence for moany things is wearing thin now, all my life all ive EVER done is WAIT i was conditioned to be like that since i was little and in the past it has served me but now in the current present? its getting harder to wait and stay sane formany things and yet they say good things come to those who wait but how can i keep waiting when nothing is happening? i TRY to make things happen but i get shot down every damn time plans go askew and everything! i just i dont know im on a low right now and i dont know if i can get out of it...... im gonna go try not to cry though because where would that get me?
