Life right now for me isn't a pleasure, and I am aware that people have it worse off than me. But I've been strong for too long and now I'm cracking under the stress...

I'll start off with my mum.
I am my mums carer ( sometimes live in doctor, pharmacist etc.)
She is disabled due to a plethora of illnses, she has so many I will just list them and assume you'll know what they are and how they affect people:

Severe Degenerative Disc disease with advanced spinal stenosis in the lumbar region
Rheumatoid Arthritis (Mainly affecting her hands)
Gout (Mainly affecting her feet, hands and knees)
Reoccurring severe migraines (Some trips end up in hospital)
Restless Leg syndrome (We think caused by her DDD and Stenosis)

It may not seem like a lot, but for those who understand how severe this is, you'll know how much of an impact it has made on her mobility.
Not only am I her carer but I have to deal with all of her medical forms, as her head can't cope with a million questions. Medical forms, tax forms, DLA forms..you name it, I've filled one out.

On top of all that I do a full time college course studying Biology, Chemistry and Physics which I am falling behind badly on as a result of caring for my mum.

Last year we moved back to Liverpool so we could be close to the family as my mum may need surgery soon. We rented a lovely little terrace house in a town called Rainhill. 12 months rent up front, new college, new start. Life was good.
Until the problems with the house started to occur. I was taken into hospital TWICE within 3 weeks with serious pleurisy from inhaling bird droppings from the old fireplaces. and there's just so much wrong with it I can't...I can't begin to explain it all =/
Then last week we got a phone call saying they where giving us our 2 months notice after we where told COUNTLESS times that this would be a long lease as the previous owners where newly weds and where going to live in Australia, and even if they did come back they would find somewhere else.

So no I have to look for a house with proper facilities to accommodate my mums poor mobility. It sounds easier than it looks . I have to inform the gass, electric, internet, tax people and its just worn me down so badly.

I can't explain how it's making me feel. My boyfriends breaking up with me, my mum might have cancer in her mouth.


To top it all off (warning gross content ahead) There's a possibility I may have breast cancer after one of my nipples started to leak bloody discharge and then just blood.

I'm up to my eyeballs in work, forms and everything else =/

I apologies again and again for this. But I don't know what to do, I'm taking dopamine I had for vertigo a few months back just to cope and I'm scared that I've had to resort to that measure. =/

I just had to get this all off my mind. I don't expect anyone to read this, because no-one cares.