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H-Day on Oct 27, and what it means to me....
17 years ago
Fair warning. This is not one of those happy or particularly sad posts. However its a fact. Need to make sure those that know me. Know where I am coming from lately.
Read the below if you want. Comment if you want to as well. Your choices.
Well its coming that time of year again.
Not only will on the Oct 27th I become 40, but I have been living with Diabetes for the past 2 years. Its hit me hard. Arthritis shows up last year to add to my misery, and not only that I have heel spurs in both my feet. I have a collapsed "Arch" in my right foot. So effectively making me not able to walk much, or stand for long periods. Seems something new just pops up every H-Day since then. I am dreading my H-Day cause of it.
Nice way to begin getting older huh?.
I look back on what I have done in my life and I see very few things that made alot of sense to me now.
I love my Mate. He and I have been together 12 years now. Rocky times as any couple could atest to. We got through it. Became stronger for it.
Lately though I am feeling just sorta blah. Not much excites me. I can't go to alot of places I would love to goto.
Everyone make sure to keep care of your legs and feet. Its not nice when you get older and things start to break down. Believe me I know it very well.
No one has to worry about me having a nervous break down. I had that when I was much younger at age 20. I was such a unkind and stressed person. Never got to do alot of things most would. Used as slave labor to my parents during the summers. Rarely would I get to to much. Not gonna get into that. it would take longer to explain then needed.
I have been having all kinds of interesting dreams lately. Dreams going from nice to out right freaky nightmares. I usually wake up with new insite into what I am inside. Yes, most won't believe it. I am not gonna get into it either. Accept that I am a dragon inside or don't. Your choice and your loss.
I used to look at the furry fandom as a place I could find like minded people or kin types. Now adays I have met all the wrong types.
I left the Muck's and various talkers and even the net for close to 5 years before. Just to work on my life. Now that my life is going better. I look back at things around me and wonder how the hell I managed to even stay alive.
Now before you go thinking I am making a post of pity, i am not. I am talking straight from the heart. Everyone's lives have bad and good days, but I can count on my two hands the good. The rest has been trials and heart ache's.
I better stop writing or I might just keep rambling on for another 1000 paragraphs.
Suffice it to say that I am not looking forward to my 40th h-day. If any indication is like the last 2. I am gonna be in for more strange hurts or something bad.
*shrugs* ah well. I will survive after all. I am a survivor. I have to be. Being the last of my clan is not something I like to think about. Check my story(Never gonna finish it as it was hurtful to write it up, that and bad grammar).
Thanks ahead of time to anyone that wishes me the best on my H-Day.
Read the below if you want. Comment if you want to as well. Your choices.
Well its coming that time of year again.
Not only will on the Oct 27th I become 40, but I have been living with Diabetes for the past 2 years. Its hit me hard. Arthritis shows up last year to add to my misery, and not only that I have heel spurs in both my feet. I have a collapsed "Arch" in my right foot. So effectively making me not able to walk much, or stand for long periods. Seems something new just pops up every H-Day since then. I am dreading my H-Day cause of it.
Nice way to begin getting older huh?.
I look back on what I have done in my life and I see very few things that made alot of sense to me now.
I love my Mate. He and I have been together 12 years now. Rocky times as any couple could atest to. We got through it. Became stronger for it.
Lately though I am feeling just sorta blah. Not much excites me. I can't go to alot of places I would love to goto.
Everyone make sure to keep care of your legs and feet. Its not nice when you get older and things start to break down. Believe me I know it very well.
No one has to worry about me having a nervous break down. I had that when I was much younger at age 20. I was such a unkind and stressed person. Never got to do alot of things most would. Used as slave labor to my parents during the summers. Rarely would I get to to much. Not gonna get into that. it would take longer to explain then needed.
I have been having all kinds of interesting dreams lately. Dreams going from nice to out right freaky nightmares. I usually wake up with new insite into what I am inside. Yes, most won't believe it. I am not gonna get into it either. Accept that I am a dragon inside or don't. Your choice and your loss.
I used to look at the furry fandom as a place I could find like minded people or kin types. Now adays I have met all the wrong types.
I left the Muck's and various talkers and even the net for close to 5 years before. Just to work on my life. Now that my life is going better. I look back at things around me and wonder how the hell I managed to even stay alive.
Now before you go thinking I am making a post of pity, i am not. I am talking straight from the heart. Everyone's lives have bad and good days, but I can count on my two hands the good. The rest has been trials and heart ache's.
I better stop writing or I might just keep rambling on for another 1000 paragraphs.
Suffice it to say that I am not looking forward to my 40th h-day. If any indication is like the last 2. I am gonna be in for more strange hurts or something bad.
*shrugs* ah well. I will survive after all. I am a survivor. I have to be. Being the last of my clan is not something I like to think about. Check my story(Never gonna finish it as it was hurtful to write it up, that and bad grammar).
Thanks ahead of time to anyone that wishes me the best on my H-Day.
