Uhm. I don't know how to really explain it... But I guess I kinda feel... Left out of stuff in like... Real life.. And online it seems to just be like the same thing.. I feel I'm forced to kinda.. Do things I don't wanna do. I feel like people just kinda go by and use me for whatever. And after that what's left? I mean once you get what you want I'm like the broken toy left in the corner, forgotten almost. I don't know maybe some of you feel that way? And understand where I'm coming from..

I feel tonight. Something kinda pushed this feeling more. I was feeling it before.. Slightly but ignored it. And tonight.. I just.. Seems I can't take it... I enjoy my alone time. But.. Sometimes I need someone to like talk to and laugh with. Not ask me to show off. Not ask me to like do that kinda stuff.. Just someone who won't ask if I'm ok because they wanna yiff. Or talk to me only when they need something.

I'm always confused.. And I can never really tell who my real friends are.. Because it seems half of them ask me for the same stupid thing. And I guess I find myself asking 'Why?' I mean I have people left and right, removing me with no reason. Is it because we don't talk..? Then try and start a conversation... But it's whatever.

I guess I can't be. Like. Happy all all the time... Sure I'll smile back when you smile.. And I'll laugh a little.. But it really takes every ounce of my being to smile and laugh back.. And everyday it seems to just get harder...