Depressed kind of told off a part of my family last night. Been drinking too much energy drinks and caffeine. Been suicidal again and kinda regretting how i've been acting. Been asking for help from others but I don't even know what i need to calm down. I don't want to go to those i always go to and drain them emotionally. at the same time been feeling abandoned and unneeded. Of course as things never could get worse i lost my I pod and been just not sure what to do anymore. Lost and in my own mind i guess. BPD is acting up and Just don't know what I am anymore..Feeling like disappearing again...
Also...Got angry at my friend when i was at the flea market cuz i kept losing as i Played magic the gathering..Idk..felt like i couldnt do anything right today. Then making people upset and such or just worry about me..its taking a toll on me... :/
On a side note...

Friends have been finding what kin they are and such and I just wish i could find out where i belong in the fur community. Lately, I just am a shape shifter...I don't want to always live this way.I don't know....