Sorta struggling with mental issues tied to place and purpose among other people. I tend to feel aloof among others in the most frequent of times, and am capable of quite a bit of closeness and warmth when not drowning in the wavelengths, motives, and issues of large clusters of people.

But there are times you just want to get to know certain people, but with everyone normally on high alert, it is difficult to breach through and connect without that awkward tap dance of conversation that occurs when neither is sure what to say or how to feel around the other. Especially with my mostly non communicative online presence, it sometimes feels bereft of people, sometimes you just want someone to talk to when you are in a place stuffed to the brim with people.

It also doesn't help that I do not have a large list of places I go online.
Facebook to look at what is said, and maybe contribute.
Ign for news on gaming.
Furaffinity to see if anyone has said anything to me, and to contemplate trying to clear out as much of the submissions I've stockpiled so I can make sure I've seen what I will like from it.
Maybe youtube if I am in the mood to hunt for music.
Bakabt for various hentai.
Maybe a hunt for certain types of information on google/wikipedia.
And if I am masochistic, I'll look up various news articles starting from yahoo news and working my way outward. (Hearing of the state of the world tends to just put me in a shitty mood anyway)

That is about all I do on the net. I tend to not watch videos online because my computer sucks ass and won't play them in a fluid manner so it all looks like bad stop motion animation. There is not much room for social shite because I am normally not feeling all that well, and normally feel discouraged by the fact that I just can't bring myself to sit down and write. Learning more about my craft brings me to bear by making me ask questions that I often cannot answer, and therefore I feel like I am trying to adapt my ideas which have mostly stewed for long tracks of time in my head into workable materials for story. Adapting is really difficult and hard to get passed when you feel as though you've walked a thousand paces in the wrong direction. I am thirty, and have nothing to show for what I consider my occupation, that combined with no longer having a viable opportunity to let go of my SSI and take flight (or crash hard and burn) on my work's earnings is really compounding and becoming MUCH more frustrating by the day.

So yeah... not sure how to alleviate any of these XD