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Feeling Hated Still...
13 years ago
General
I read reports of men who are humiliated and jailed and killed for being homosexuals....i also read people's stories of getting caught during.....the moment and that their parents said "you're not the son I wanted, I hope you go to hell" and the other said "I never loved you" and now i feel like I can't handle it.....i still feel like my mom doesn't support me still and that she still wants me to get a girlfriend...I know she doesn't even want to think I did somethings...I know...she wants me to have a normal life......she wants me to get a girlfriend......
I don't want to end up like the ones I read.....I don't want to get scolded like how their parents did.....I don't want to be homo anymore.....I want to be normal....I want to live in another world of lies just to let my mom have her grandchildren and daughter-in-law.... being homo is such a bad thing to be......I want to be straight...I need to be straight.....I have to be straight.....I need to stay away from men.....I need to stop thinking of men....I need to think of girls and only girls....I need to marry a girl and love a girl......girls is what i'm supposed to be after...not men.........my mom wants a son who can marry a girl....I know that's what she wants.....she doesn't want a son who is married to a guy......she wants a son who is normal........I need to be normal......I need to stop loving guys......i need to get rid of my friends that influence me to like guys....and get friends who influence me to like girls....i need to think of girls.....need to learn to love them like a real man should.......I need....to let my mom be happy.........i don't care of my own happiness now......i just need to make my mom feel really happy.....
I don't want to end up like the ones I read.....I don't want to get scolded like how their parents did.....I don't want to be homo anymore.....I want to be normal....I want to live in another world of lies just to let my mom have her grandchildren and daughter-in-law.... being homo is such a bad thing to be......I want to be straight...I need to be straight.....I have to be straight.....I need to stay away from men.....I need to stop thinking of men....I need to think of girls and only girls....I need to marry a girl and love a girl......girls is what i'm supposed to be after...not men.........my mom wants a son who can marry a girl....I know that's what she wants.....she doesn't want a son who is married to a guy......she wants a son who is normal........I need to be normal......I need to stop loving guys......i need to get rid of my friends that influence me to like guys....and get friends who influence me to like girls....i need to think of girls.....need to learn to love them like a real man should.......I need....to let my mom be happy.........i don't care of my own happiness now......i just need to make my mom feel really happy.....
I understand your situation and state,but this out burst aren't necessary? you think people will kill you for being gay. where do you live,in the 18 hundreds?!
That way of life has gone by and past my father tells me about the past and the coming future and only place deserves a person like you!
Your mother told me she understood you,she told me she wants to give you all the time and I shouldn't rush you in accepting yourself before it kills you.
Your mother knew far more about the situation then you're aware of.
Most be the stress circulating around us.
Before your mother accepted you, you were always wailing about her not accepting you. Now that she accepted you and is trying to understand you, you end up saying otherwise and even to the point of exaggerating it. What is it with this masochism?