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Call Me Silverclaw...but Maybe Not for Much Longer
12 years ago
A new journal? What madness is this? Madness of a sort only brought about by a long absence, that's what. A lot has happened, but little has changed. Not that I'm complaining. It's change that's prompting me to create this journal in the first place.
A thought has been swirling around in my mind for the last few days and has been there off and on for the last few years, though I've entertained it little and dismissed it almost immediately. Yet over the last few days a bit of introspection has caused me to think about it a bit more than I normally would have.
Silverclaw is dead...Or at least on his way to retirement.
Silverclaw was created over a decade ago, and has been my online character ever since, with minor shifting to other characters briefly. He started life as a feral creature, before I even knew what furry was. He had a pack at a place called Wild Wolf River, back when EZboard was in its heyday, and there he lived relatively peacefully until the board became inactive and was left to fade into obscurity. From there he moved to a place called Ravenwood, shortly before a massive virus wiped the place out and we had to start anew as Long Shadows. There he met many wonderful creatures and struck up strong friendships with some of them. Yet as with many things, people grew up and moved on, and Long Shadows also faded away.
Silver too changed. He evolved and began to walk upright, and found interests of a more prurient nature at Furry to Furry. Then one day all that abruptly ended as well, and despite a short resurgence several months ago, he has faded until he is no more than a name I use to identify myself with. All the people that played the characters in the cast of his life have moved on or lost interest.
He was created a long time ago, back when I needed an outlet for my boredom, and later my teen angst. I don't need that outlet anymore, and I haven't taken my anger or sorrow out on poor Silver in years. He was created at a different time and by a different person than who bears that name now. As I said all the ones who he hung around with have all moved on. None of my current friends have ever interacted with Silverclaw as a character in a fantasy online world. They only know him as me, and I'm not who I once was.
Yet there's a huge part of me that doesn't want to let him go. He grew up as I grew up, evolved as I did and I learned things from his interactions with others that have proven invaluable over the years. His experiences have shaped mine, and prevented me from doing things outside the fantasy that would have caused real harm. If I do decide to put him out of my life, I wonder if it would feel like a part of me is missing.
Where would I go though? I have no idea. Not yet.
Not to mention the fact that there's no way I could get people to stop calling me by that name. Really though, 10 plus years is a good age for a canid.
A thought has been swirling around in my mind for the last few days and has been there off and on for the last few years, though I've entertained it little and dismissed it almost immediately. Yet over the last few days a bit of introspection has caused me to think about it a bit more than I normally would have.
Silverclaw is dead...Or at least on his way to retirement.
Silverclaw was created over a decade ago, and has been my online character ever since, with minor shifting to other characters briefly. He started life as a feral creature, before I even knew what furry was. He had a pack at a place called Wild Wolf River, back when EZboard was in its heyday, and there he lived relatively peacefully until the board became inactive and was left to fade into obscurity. From there he moved to a place called Ravenwood, shortly before a massive virus wiped the place out and we had to start anew as Long Shadows. There he met many wonderful creatures and struck up strong friendships with some of them. Yet as with many things, people grew up and moved on, and Long Shadows also faded away.
Silver too changed. He evolved and began to walk upright, and found interests of a more prurient nature at Furry to Furry. Then one day all that abruptly ended as well, and despite a short resurgence several months ago, he has faded until he is no more than a name I use to identify myself with. All the people that played the characters in the cast of his life have moved on or lost interest.
He was created a long time ago, back when I needed an outlet for my boredom, and later my teen angst. I don't need that outlet anymore, and I haven't taken my anger or sorrow out on poor Silver in years. He was created at a different time and by a different person than who bears that name now. As I said all the ones who he hung around with have all moved on. None of my current friends have ever interacted with Silverclaw as a character in a fantasy online world. They only know him as me, and I'm not who I once was.
Yet there's a huge part of me that doesn't want to let him go. He grew up as I grew up, evolved as I did and I learned things from his interactions with others that have proven invaluable over the years. His experiences have shaped mine, and prevented me from doing things outside the fantasy that would have caused real harm. If I do decide to put him out of my life, I wonder if it would feel like a part of me is missing.
Where would I go though? I have no idea. Not yet.
Not to mention the fact that there's no way I could get people to stop calling me by that name. Really though, 10 plus years is a good age for a canid.
HawaiianRain
~hawaiianrain
Re design him or become something different and keep the name?
DesertYote
~desertyote
Believe it or not, but I went through something similar several years ago. Since I've been involved in this (on one form or another), I have evolved through probably 4-6 different characters of different species. This one, though...this seems to represent "me" better than any of the others. Who knows, though...sometimes I wonder if I actually remember who I really am.
