FA+
Shop
Someone please help me. Please.
17 years ago
If there's something you want to see, just ask and godwilling, if I have the time and the means, I'll draw it for you. I've been feeling inspired lately, and God knows I love having stuff to do.
Seriously, I have no idea what to do with myself right now. There's no easy way to put this, and I hate to air my dirty laundry here, but I need some advice on just what it is I should do. I'm thinking about leaving my fiance, whom I've been with for almost two years. I'm thinking about leaving a lot of things. I haven't even had the initiative to do anything for a couple of weeks now and he's starting to notice. I think everyone is. Notice I haven't even been online? I just don't think I can handle this anymore, I never really knew what I was doing to begin with, and I'm tired of my life being one big compromise like it has always been. I may have lived a pretty wild life for a while there, and have dozens of exes, but that doesn't make me experienced in dating. They all left me after a month, sometimes less than that. There was probably a reason. There's just so much wrong and it isn't getting fixed. What makes it worse is that he won't make the same compromises I have to make, and it makes things that much harder.
He doesn't really give me a chance to say anything anymore, and when I do, I'm always wrong, or I'm always the bad guy. And then he apologizes a little bit later and clings onto me, and if I'm not in the mood for it after whatever just happened, I'm a selfish prick and I don't love him.
I can't be gone for more than an hour before he starts calling and texting me repeatedly.
He can't control his spending, which is really hurting us. We paid our bills a week late this week. We haven't been late on any payments in eight months. We were barely scraping by but comfortable on just my income, and he's had a job for a little bit and we're actually harder off now than we were before with just me paying for everything. He's been at Subway for three months now. He was unemployed for six months before he got that job. We used to keep food in our fridge.
And on the fridge thing, all he wants to do now is party. And I'm the taxi cab service because (SURPRISE!) none of his friends can drive either. Just like old times, takes me back. So now he's bringing a party life into our apartment, and I'm not comfortable with parties. There's too much that can and always will go wrong. Last night, haha, well that's just an example of that I'll not get into. And all of his new friends seem to be way more into him than they are into me.
I understand that his father died in a car accident eleven years ago, I really do, but sometimes I wish he'd at least let me try to teach him to drive.
Oh yeah, and I'm starting to think he likes one of his coworkers more than he likes me.
I love him with all my heart. I wanted this to last forever. I wanted things to be normal, to be perfect for once. Looks like it's going to be the way it always is - what I want never matters. It never has.
I started drinking and smoking again. That's how high the stress is, not just from him but from all directions. I'm a mess right now. I'm amazed I'm even alive sometimes. There goes that new page I was trying to turn over in my life. Optimism, heh. I honestly don't even know what that word means anymore.
To the couple of people I am doing pictures for, please be patient with me. They'll be done soon, I promise. And I'm having my scanner serviced, so it should be back up-and-running soon. And If I said I had something to send you, it's still coming; I'm just so broke right now I can't afford postage. Please bear with me. I'm just really overstressed right now.
And I'm sorry that this is such a long thing to read. Please, somebody give me some advice. Please help me.
He doesn't really give me a chance to say anything anymore, and when I do, I'm always wrong, or I'm always the bad guy. And then he apologizes a little bit later and clings onto me, and if I'm not in the mood for it after whatever just happened, I'm a selfish prick and I don't love him.
I can't be gone for more than an hour before he starts calling and texting me repeatedly.
He can't control his spending, which is really hurting us. We paid our bills a week late this week. We haven't been late on any payments in eight months. We were barely scraping by but comfortable on just my income, and he's had a job for a little bit and we're actually harder off now than we were before with just me paying for everything. He's been at Subway for three months now. He was unemployed for six months before he got that job. We used to keep food in our fridge.
And on the fridge thing, all he wants to do now is party. And I'm the taxi cab service because (SURPRISE!) none of his friends can drive either. Just like old times, takes me back. So now he's bringing a party life into our apartment, and I'm not comfortable with parties. There's too much that can and always will go wrong. Last night, haha, well that's just an example of that I'll not get into. And all of his new friends seem to be way more into him than they are into me.
I understand that his father died in a car accident eleven years ago, I really do, but sometimes I wish he'd at least let me try to teach him to drive.
Oh yeah, and I'm starting to think he likes one of his coworkers more than he likes me.
I love him with all my heart. I wanted this to last forever. I wanted things to be normal, to be perfect for once. Looks like it's going to be the way it always is - what I want never matters. It never has.
I started drinking and smoking again. That's how high the stress is, not just from him but from all directions. I'm a mess right now. I'm amazed I'm even alive sometimes. There goes that new page I was trying to turn over in my life. Optimism, heh. I honestly don't even know what that word means anymore.
To the couple of people I am doing pictures for, please be patient with me. They'll be done soon, I promise. And I'm having my scanner serviced, so it should be back up-and-running soon. And If I said I had something to send you, it's still coming; I'm just so broke right now I can't afford postage. Please bear with me. I'm just really overstressed right now.
And I'm sorry that this is such a long thing to read. Please, somebody give me some advice. Please help me.
But really, you have to talk to him about all this. If he's not willing to hear you out and address these issues in a way other than, "You're wrong, there are no problems," then I think that speaks for itself. A relationship cannot work well if people aren't willing to acknowledge when the other is upset and deal with the causes.
The one thing I would avoid completely is the insinuation that he might be cheating on you or romantically interested in someone else, because, unless you have concrete proof that he's cheating, that will not end well; it'll put him on the defensive and make him think you're just going crazy and making things up, and that won't help you guys fix any of the other problems. And what happens if he's not cheating? You know all these other things for a fact, but not that, so I would just not address that suspicion right now.
Also, try to quit smoking again; it puts people on edge unless they're smoking at that moment, and it doesn't help your overall health. Drinking too. Save that for when you're in a more secure, happier physical and mental state. Otherwise it'll only stress you out and make you feel even worse, and you're liable to make bad decisions.
Hope I could help. I'm sorry your situation isn't very good right now. I'm sure you can pull through though, hopefully with your relationship on the mend.
I've been with my husband for going on a year now. We've had a very stressful relationship, but I keep pushing on with it. He's gotten mad at me so many times, yelled at me and made me cry several times over the phone before, but I keep staying with him and working with him. Because those good moments for me are worth it. Though sometimes it does it hard and it takes a hard toll on myself.
Recently we found out he may have Borderline Personality Disorder so that may be the root of all of those problems and why he lashes out so much at times. The only problem is getting his damn parents to do something about it.
But the best things to do is to try and have a talk to him about all this crap because I'd be getting sick and tired of all of it myself and if he doesn't want to listen or change at all then I'd take that step and leave him. Even if you're scared of doing it. Maybe you could have a friend around or something to help you out with it all.
Thank-you so much.