"Wir sind Böcke. Widerstand ist zwecklos."

Switzerland is a unique place. Landlocked, at the heart of Europe, but outside the European Union. Indeed I have been to France, Germany, Italy and Austria, but never to the small nation at the heart of them all. And so last weekend, it was my pleasure to visit this country for the first time, to look beyond touristy ideas of chocolate and cowbells and alphorns, and to get a glimpse of the real Switzerland.

Half the excitement of any trip is in getting there, and in the absence of local flights to Switzerland, my journey started by coach. I am used to night coaches now. They might not be getting any more comfortable, but they still get me from A to B and give me a chance for a few hours of 'rest'. And so I reached the airport just before dawn. After the usual rigmarole of security checks and waiting around at the airport, it was time for my early-morning flight to Zurich, a really easy 90-minute jet. Over there I met up with bocki, and no sooner had I left the airport than we were whisking our way into the city centre for a spot of sightseeing.

With its narrow streets, churches and lake, Zurich is a perfectly agreeable city. Interestingly however, in the largest city in Switzerland, it is almost impossible to find Swiss food. Italian, Mexican, Japanese all fine, but hardly anything Swiss. Eventually we came across what seemed to be the only Swiss themed restaurant in the city. Rösti and Raclette cheese were on the menu, and delicious they were too. Switzerland is certainly on the pricey side, but hey, Switzerland is one of the most affluent countries in the world. The Swiss can afford it, and I was on holiday!

Later that day we headed over the border into Germany. I can think of few things more German than burning down the Autobahn, in a Mercedes, blasting out German techno music. The next couple of days were suitably leisurely. Out and about, we climbed the volcanic peaks of the Hegau, many of which have castle ruins perched high above them. Back at home, we chilled with some videos and music.

On Saturday, we drove over to East Switzerland to meet up with knuddelbock. The place I stayed was picture-postcard Switzerland: a wide valley of wooden houses and farms and grazing horses, surrounded by steep mountains with their tops shrouded in cloud. The next couple of days together were also nice and chilled: games and films and videos with the Bocks, a drive to see mixxiwuff in her art shop, a trip into Liechtenstein, a morning with moonlightpaw, and more rösti!

Those of you who have followed me a while will know that I love travelling. And with foreign travel not only are there new places to explore but also whole new cultures and often new languages. Switzerland has four official languages (German, French, Italian and Romansch clinging on in the south). Each canton (state) will speak one, two or even three of these. The most widely spoken is German… but not as you may know it. Swiss German (Schwyzerdütsch) is an interesting dialect, and listening to it on a daily basis was certainly an unusual experience. It is a sing-song dialect, almost Italianate at times, loping and rolling along just like the Swiss Alps. Form and pronunciation can vary completely from Standard German or Hochdeutsch, not to mention their lovely unique words like Stutz and Knöbli and Chuchichäschtli. And as befits what is essentially a collection of 26 mini-republics, each part of the Swiss Confederation speaks a slightly different version (Is it Drei? Drää? Drüü?) Still, I was starting to pick up the pronunciation by the end.

Overall, despite the time being much too short, I had a wonderful time. And so, to:

 bocki  knuddelbock  mixxiwuff  moonlightpaw
Many, many thanks for a lovely weekend and for all of your hospitality. And I hope we can all meet up again soon: in Switzerland, in the UK, or elsewhere!

"Laugh at death. Embrace der Hosenbügler."