here is a thing about wanting to go in a comma or die, your going to hurt your partners,friends and family so much, they love you and wants to see you gone, i know i dont, and if you pulled through from something like that, just think you need to sit there and look at all the worried/upset/scared and angry faces of the people you love, is that something you want to put people through? also maybe you should try and say something to your partners, i know it can be tough and scary (recently been through that with my own partner) but they can help and comfort you through this <3

please dont give up, things will get better <3