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This is how my life is somedays (read at own risk)
12 years ago
This is what happened to me today.
I had an argument with my mother, this happens sometimes with people. I went back to my room to chill out on my laptop, she yells a bit, I yell a bit, pretty normal to have disagreements every once in a while.
Here's the part you shouldn't read if you are sensitive.
So her boyfriend comes in with a hammer, starts prodding me in the chest with it, tapping my laptop and telling me how he'll wreak my stuff if I don't go "get off my lazy ass and do something"
I tell him to quit touching me and to get out of my room.
He proceeded to start pushing me around, I pushed back, I'm not his dog, he doesn't own me.
He starts saying how he isn't afraid to go back to prison or something to that effect and starts pressing the hammer against me none to gently. Telling me how he's going to beat me/kill me.
I laugh in his face. I got tired of being afraid of him a while ago. I also am a lot bigger then I used to be.
Then..then this fucker twacks me in the balls with said hammer.
At this point I go into my combat mode. Everything gets a little clearer, a little easier to read, adrenalin starts pumping and I'm already mentally numbing my body so I can fight how I'll need to.
This is when my mother comes in and breaks up what I'm sure would of been a rather bloody brawl.
She proceeds to tell me how she loves me..but it's my fault in some twisted way, how I could of prevented it.
Because a 300 pound fat fuck who is 60 something years old has to try and intimidate me with a hammer and prove he's the alpha, the boss, the man of the household.
If you ever wonder why I don't join "packs" why I come off stoic, cold, angry.
That's why.
Over the years I've learned how to deal with this sort of thing. Learned how to take a hit and give one back.
Why I can't physically respond like I want to with my partners in the bedroom. For all there effort I'm still wondering if I'm about to be attacked.
This is why I come off so cold sometimes, why I'm always there to help when people need it.
I've seen the dark side of human nature. I don't want anyone else exposed to it like I am.
This is my normal.
I had an argument with my mother, this happens sometimes with people. I went back to my room to chill out on my laptop, she yells a bit, I yell a bit, pretty normal to have disagreements every once in a while.
Here's the part you shouldn't read if you are sensitive.
So her boyfriend comes in with a hammer, starts prodding me in the chest with it, tapping my laptop and telling me how he'll wreak my stuff if I don't go "get off my lazy ass and do something"
I tell him to quit touching me and to get out of my room.
He proceeded to start pushing me around, I pushed back, I'm not his dog, he doesn't own me.
He starts saying how he isn't afraid to go back to prison or something to that effect and starts pressing the hammer against me none to gently. Telling me how he's going to beat me/kill me.
I laugh in his face. I got tired of being afraid of him a while ago. I also am a lot bigger then I used to be.
Then..then this fucker twacks me in the balls with said hammer.
At this point I go into my combat mode. Everything gets a little clearer, a little easier to read, adrenalin starts pumping and I'm already mentally numbing my body so I can fight how I'll need to.
This is when my mother comes in and breaks up what I'm sure would of been a rather bloody brawl.
She proceeds to tell me how she loves me..but it's my fault in some twisted way, how I could of prevented it.
Because a 300 pound fat fuck who is 60 something years old has to try and intimidate me with a hammer and prove he's the alpha, the boss, the man of the household.
If you ever wonder why I don't join "packs" why I come off stoic, cold, angry.
That's why.
Over the years I've learned how to deal with this sort of thing. Learned how to take a hit and give one back.
Why I can't physically respond like I want to with my partners in the bedroom. For all there effort I'm still wondering if I'm about to be attacked.
This is why I come off so cold sometimes, why I'm always there to help when people need it.
I've seen the dark side of human nature. I don't want anyone else exposed to it like I am.
This is my normal.
Stuff like this has been happening since I was 13, she obviously doesn't care.
And I'm afraid to hurt people.
You have shown better self control then I ever could have.
But idk...your mother's reaction is what bugs me most.
I don't even know how to respond to my mother any more.
And you're not saying to much. You are welcome to your opinion.